Will The Great Recession dissolve our system of symbols and affluence and remake America into a classless society? Nah, not only would that be boring, but it’s impossible. A river with less water is still a river. Speaking of conspicuous consumption and water, here’s what Paul Fussel, snarky author of Class: A Guide Through the American Status System, says about cruise ships:
carnival
By 1.26.09
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Contractually speaking, a cruise doesn’t even have to go to where you paid it to go. The Kings paid $2000 and drove from New York to Florida to find this out, and all the got was a $25 “we’re so sorry but not really” on-board credit for their troubles. [elliott] (Photo: jemsweb)
It Shouldn't Take Three Years To Book A Carnival Cruise
By 7.26.08
Leslie and her husband haven’t been able to cruise with Carnival since Hurricane Katrina rained all over their original itinerary back in 2005. Carnival promised they would be able to cruise on a “space available” basis, except Carnival won’t confirm if space is available until three days before departure, making it nearly impossible for Leslie and her husband to buy affordable plane tickets or arrange care for their sixteen-month-old daughter.
Carnival Ignores Sewage Stench, Tells Passengers To Do The Same
By 5.18.08
Joseph’s four-day Carnival cruise was tainted by a sewage stench that steamed through his stateroom. Carnival’s only advice was to “shut the bathroom door and close the air vents,” an ineffective solution that forced Joseph and his girlfriend above deck. Now he wants Carnival to clean up their mess.
Carnival Will Refund $40 Million In Fuel Fees
By 4.1.08
Carnival Corp has reached an agreement with the (pesky) Florida attorney general and will refund $40 million in fuel surcharges to passengers who booked trips made before Nov. 7 last year for trips starting Feb. 1 this year.
CPSC Has No Full Time Amusement Ride Inspector
By 12.5.07
If you’ve always just assumed there must be someone in charge of making sure those traveling carnivals have safe rides, you’re right. It’s our friends at the CPSC. Trouble is, they don’t actually have even one person whose full time job it is to ensure the safety of such rides, says the Washington Post.
The agency’s 90 field investigators — who oversee 15,000 products, work from their homes and live mostly on the East Coast — are so overstretched that they frequently arrive at carnival accident scenes after rides have been dismantled.
The Future Of Cruising: Botox And Data Mining
By 7.1.07
Cruise lines are sullying their heritage as the height of cultured travel by working overtime to squeeze every last penny out of passengers. Though gluttons are still sated by free meals, cruises now regularly charge for sodas, “special venue dining,” and other amenities that were once free. A recent industry convention in Miami revealed that these charges are just the tip of the iceberg.
Greed Floats: Carnival Cruise Line Bans Liquids
By 3.29.07
“Carnival spokesman Vance Gulliksen said guests had been bringing on too many nonalcoholic beverages. “There had been some abuse of the previous policy which is why the new policy is more restrictive,” he said.”
Other cruise lines don’t seem to have any such policy. You’d think Carnival would be more worried about the drunk people who are always falling off the ships.—MEGHANN MARCO
What Kathy Lee Didn’t Tell You About Cruise Ships
By 9.15.06
Maybe they’ll blame the Bermuda Triangle for their latest problems.
