-That’s why you’re a junior account manager, Chuck. You don’t think outside the box.
bad ideas
No, You Should Not Sell Your Five-Month-Old To Raise Money For A New Apartment
By 4.25.09
19-year-old West Virginian Rebecca Sue Taylor is facing felony charges after trying to sell her five-month-old son for $10,000 to raise money for a new apartment. Taylor was in talks to act as a surrogate mother for Leigh Burr, but then realized she could skip a few steps and still turn a buck. When it looked like negotiations weren’t going well, Taylor, who claimed she had been “unable to bond with the infant,” dropped the price of her son to $5,000.
Bad Idea: Confessing To Your $100,000 A Year Shoplifting Habit On National TV
By 4.2.09
All the clever shoplifting tricks in the world won’t save you from yourself if you decide to reveal your secrets on Dr. Phil. Last week a fraud task force raided the home of Laura and Matthew Eaton, who appeared on an episode in November to show the audience how they did it and to say they were going straight.
Desperate Chrysler Dealership Resorts To Stupid Scare Tactics To Drum Up Business
By 3.19.09
Apparently the people at Integrity (!) Chrysler Jeep Dodge in Las Vegas don’t read our blog, or they would have seen this post last year. Then they would have known what a bad idea it is to trick people into thinking you’ve hit their vehicle just to get them to call you about a trade-in offer.
3M Steals Viral Image Idea To Avoid Licensing It
By 9.16.08
There is probably nothing more pathetic in the world of marketing than watching a big corporation try to do something “viral”—usually they end up looking like Elaine dancing. But sometimes, they’re so cynical and soulless about it that they don’t just come across as incompetent, but as exploitative cheapskates as well. In 3M’s case, they wouldn’t pay $2,000 to license a well-known photo with its own viral history, and instead recreated a fake version of it to save a grand. We guess they’re just hoping none of the sites and communities that made the photo popular in the first place will notice. Oh wait, this is supposed to be viral or something…
Verizon Tech Made 5,000 Sex Chat Calls On Customer Accounts
By 9.11.08
The next time you’re disputing a 900 number call to a sex hotline and the CSR tells you nobody else could have made that call, remind them of this story. Over the past 10 months, a Verizon technician made 5,000 calls to sex chat hotlines, totaling 45,000 minutes of dirty talk at a cost of $220,000. He placed the calls from over 950 tapped residential and commercial accounts throughout Bergen county in New Jersey. He has since resigned, and been charged with theft by deception and theft of services.
Want Safe Skies? Strap This Remote-Controlled Stun Device To Yourself!
By 7.7.08
Make of this what you will, as the story comes from the Reverend Sun Myung Moon’s church-owned Washington Times and may be more fiction than fact, but “a senior government official with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has expressed great interest in a so-called safety bracelet that would serve as a stun device, similar to that of a police Taser.” Yes, the EMD Safety Bracelet from Lamperd Less Lethal is designed to make flying a fun experience once again. Just check out everything it can do:
- Take the place of an airline boarding pass.
- Contain personal information about the traveler.
- Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage.
- Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes.
Would You Like A Condom Ad In Your Beer?
By 6.19.08
Maybe the bottom of a beer glass isn’t the best place to advertise a jimmy cap. Do you really want to drain the last of your beer and suddenly be reminded of Stiffler from American Pie? Yeah, we didn’t think so.
Please Don't Hoard Gas Because It Will Catch Fire And Burn Down Your Apartment
By 6.9.08
Listen, we know gas costs more than $4 a gallon, and may go even higher, but that doesn’t mean you should start stockpiling gas. Two Dartmouth natives learned this the hard way when the 45-gallons of gas they were hoarding in nine plastic jugs ignited, nearly burning down their eight-unit apartment complex.
UPS Tells Customer To Pick Up His Package At A Construction Site
By 5.24.08
UPS told reader Jason to meet their delivery truck at a construction site to pick up a $600 microphone he spent $40 overnighting from New York. Bad Brown aborted its first delivery attempt after being scared off by a menacing buzzer at Jason’s office guarded by five smiling receptionists. When Jason called to find out how he could retrieve his package that night, he was told he could meet the truck en route. He didn’t realize that UPS was about to send him to a construction site. Try to guess if the driver showed up…
Should You Buy A Monkey?
By 3.5.08
Like so many of us, Stewart at My Family’s Money has always wanted to own a monkey. His reasoning is sound: “They are ridiculously awesome and having one as a pet would be even more awesome.” Stewart decided it would be a good idea to estimate the total lifetime cost of owning a monkey. We think he’s playing a little fast and loose with the numbers, but then again where do you go to get hard stats on monkey ownership? Not from our lazy Census takers, that’s for sure.
Coffee Shop Installs Fake Security Camera In Bathroom
By 2.5.08
A coffee shop in Montreal has removed a “dud” security camera from its bathroom after news of it hit the local papers. Corporate headquarters asked the franchise owner to take it down, and apologized/avoided blame in a press release that said they were “not consulted in advance.” The franchise owner had installed it as a sort of junkie scarecrow, to frighten away heroin users who were leaving dirty needles in the bathroom stall.
"Hand Shredder" #4 On List of Unfortunately Named Products
By 1.14.08
Say No to Crack has posted a list of five of the worst-named products to ever reach the market. Runner up for best worst name is that classic of early 80s television, AYDS diet chews (which we’ve covered in depth here). Our personal favorite, though, is the Hand Shredder.
Cheap Tattoos Come With Free Drug-Resistant Staph Infections
By 12.18.07
If you’re in the market for a cheap, illegal tattoo, you might want to make sure that you have good health insurance, because your new ink might come with a free drug-resistant staph infection.
A West Rutland [Vermont] couple is facing charges for allegedly giving tattoos that infected a number of people.
Some Of The Year's Worst Ad Concepts
By 12.18.07
Suicide—even if it’s performed by a robot, and then only in a robot’s nightmare—just doesn’t move products. People don’t respond to suicide. Or football players acting all grossed out by seeing two straight dudes accidentally touch lips. Or a digitally reanimated zombie Redenbacher with skin so lifeless you’d swear he just climbed out of a casket at the funeral home. These were among the big losers picked by Stuart Elliot at the New York Times this year as he reviewed the advertising world’s more unconventional spots of 2007.
Del Monte Dog Treats Are Highly Inappropriate
By 12.10.07
Or as Alex put it so pithily in an email to us, “These dog treats are shaped like c*cks.” (Now you can’t tell what that word means!)
Insurer Says, "Turn Medical Costs Into Holiday Gifts!"
By 11.5.07
Nothing says “I love you, Mom,” like some more medicine for her diabetes, or “You’re the best, Dad,” like a refill of nitro tablets. That’s why the health insurance company Highmark is offering new Healthcare Visa Gift Cards—for about $5 plus an unspecified shipping and handling fee, you can load it with anywhere from $25 to $5,000 to be used exclusively on medical expenses. After the first 9 months, the card emerges from the womb of “I already paid for this!” and starts charging you a monthly $1.50 maintenance fee. Won’t your kid be excited come Christmas morning when she finds out her staph infection is going to get treated?!
Should You Test Your Children's Toys For Lead? No.
By 9.30.07
The Times is reporting that some overzealous parents are manually testing their children’s toys for lead. Take Andrew Jones, a well meaning but admittedly paranoid father to a 3-year-old:
Like many parents, Mr. Jones said he was suspicious of all of his daughter’s toys now that millions of items for children have been recalled for high levels of lead.
