As I wrote a few weeks ago, I recently bought myself a beautiful new MacBook Pro. I love the thing: it is the most beautiful computer I have ever owned. Nevertheless, Apple didn’t make it easy for me to give them two thousand dollars. Between that and the smug jackasses working the Genius Bars whom you practically have to beg to just try to fix your computers, I love my Apple just as much as I want to insert a catheter up one of those Geniuses’ urethras and then force him to jump up and down on a trampoline.
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Video of iPod Nike Shoe in Action
By 6.2.06
Here’s an ad explaining how the crazy hooking up an iPod nano to your Nike running shoe works. Pretty f’n cool. It seems like your nano will speak to you and tell you how far you’ve run, how far you have to go, how long you ran, etc. You can then redock your nano and track all your progress on the computer.
Hillary Clinton, Music Pirate
By 5.23.06
The world reacted to the news that George Bush was a no-good music pirate with an apathetic yawn; more interesting, perhaps, was the opalescent baby skull iPod Apple had custom designed him for his birthday. But would you be surprised if Hilary Clinton — that saintly paragon of virtues and family values who personally tops my surprisingly short list of people I’d love to slap — was also a music pirate?
Apple Store Opening Revealed
By 5.22.06
Here’s everything we missed by staying home from the Apple Store opening on Friday.
Guy Kewney’s Congoese Doppelganger to be Deported
By 5.22.06
Poor Guy Goma! For a brief moment, that Congoese crackerjack who expertly bullshitted his way through a BBC interview on the Apple Records vs. Apple Computers judgment when he was mistaken for Guy Kewney looked like he was well on his way to television stardom. We personally envisioned a syndicated call-in show where Guy Goma fielded questions about subjects on which he knew absolutely nothing. While the real Guy Kewney fumed and sputtered, Guy Goma became a star, dreaming of capitalizing on his sudden fame to find work.
Best Buy Fulfills Its Name
By 5.19.06
Man goes to Best Buy. Buys iPod. Has good experience. Universe implodes.
How Many Tales of iPod Can We Tell? Best Buy Adds One More…
By 5.16.06
Gothamgal purchased an iPod from Best Buy, along with the product replacement plan. Times passes, product needs replacing. Best Buy says, “no problem, bring it on down.”
Creative Sues Apple, Claims They Created MP3 Menus
By 5.16.06
Could patent law be any more absurd? Perhaps we’re on the wrong end of it, but it seems that the only tangible result of modern patent law is a string of nuisance lawsuits in which one company attempts to rob consumers of a product they enjoy by suing a company that has made an ostensibly similar competing device. Re: Blackberry. But now, Creative vs. Apple.
UPDATE: Will The Real Guy Kewney Please Stand Up?
By 5.15.06
Earlier we noted how the BBC mistakenly interviewed a French-Algerian taxi driver on his views about Apple iTunes downloads on national television, thinking he was Guy Kewney, editor of newswireless.net.
Will The Real Guy Kewney Please Stand Up?
By 5.15.06
Guy Kewney, editor of newswireless.net, describes himself on his blog as “fair-haired, blue-eyed, prominent-nosed, and with the sort of pale skin that makes my dermatologist wince each time I complain about an itchy mole.” That’s him to the right, looking like every philosophy professor we ever had.
You Don’t Own Anything With DRM
By 5.15.06
One problem with DRM in general is that it is an industry concept that takes-as-read the consumerist fallacy that you don’t actually own things you buy, you just license them. Perhaps this is the natural evolution of consumerism now that products like media are, if not less tangible, at least a bit more ethereal. Still, DRM gives all the power to the companies… and companies prove time and time again that they can’t be trusted.
A Worse Virus Than Mac Trojans: Bad AP Journalism
By 5.3.06
According to this piece by the Daring Fireball blog dissecting an AP article on the recent rumors that Macs are susceptible to viruses, sometimes journalism is fluffy and insipid.
