Quality & Safety
Pith & Vinegar; Puddles of Cuddles
• Maybe they just ate too much turkey and got tired. [USAToday] “FDA issues fewer safety, quality citations”
The News; The Beat My Child Porn Skipped
• Maybe they should bring in Snoop Dogg, too. [CT] “GM goes back to 0% plan”
Toyota Recalls A Million Cars for Faulty Steering Wheel
If you own a Toyota Prius, you may want to bring it into your local dealership. Just pray that the steering wheel doesn’t break off in your hands on the way.
Baush Apologizes With Free Eye-Solution
Users of Baush & Lomb eyecare products received a letter today.
Lady Tells How Moistureloc Made Her Blind. Skeet. Skeet.
Here’s an eyewitness account of a user of the infamous Bausch & Lomb Renu Moisture Loc contact lens solution. She went blind in one eye. From the NYT:
Top 10 Non-Mutating Cell Phones
That gigantic pulsating growth bulging out of the side of your head sure is socially awkward, isn’t it? Your fellow movie theater patrons incessantly complain about the fluorescent glow. The erratic squirting of radioactive goop has ruined many a bar mitzvah. And you certainly aren’t comfortable with what you suspect is the growth’s nascent sentience, exhibited in the hypnotically commanding undercurrent of murderous thoughts which you can hear sometimes at night.
Succumbing to Shirley Temple’s Deadly Charms
The children’s toy industry apparent refusal to stop putting lead in jewelry products lends itself to this morning’s best lede: “The good ship Lollipop has some unsafe cargo.”
Avian Bird Flu Got You Down? Don’t Reuse That Surgical Mask!
The oncoming avian flu pandemic is set to turn our nation’s metropolises into apocalyptic nightmare cities filled overturned buses, conflagrating skyscrapers and Starbucks filled with corpses whose doorways have been hastily marked with a chalk cross; where the only sound will be phlegmatic hacking, the ululation of orphans and the incessant tolling of a hand-rung bell.
How Not To Use A Trampoline
Years ago, when I was a daredevil lad, I once used a pair of pogo stilts to jump off of the roof of my house and onto my backyard trampoline. It seemed like a great idea at the time. For a brief moment, I was Icarus, soaring godlike into the stratosphere. The next thing I know, the nose cone of an oncoming Logan-bound Airbus had exploded into my crotch. As I plummeted a truly terrifying distance back down to the earth, I realized that my options were not really very good: either I fell, allowing the impact with the black asphalt below to trigger the nasal expulsion of my own gelatinated pelvis, or I braced with the pogo sticks and risked jumping even higher. Possibly directly into the sun.
FDA Says Plan B Causes Teen Sex Cults
What the hell? The Manhattan-based Center for Reproductive Rights is grilling FDA officials on their failure to approve the Plan B pill as a drug that can be distributed without a prescription. Why might they not have approved it?
Memo to The Evil Toymakers
An open letter from a tort professor and dad to the makers of lead-laden products targeted at children:
The Flying RyanAir Horror Show
Although I personally love RyanAir for allowing me to fly anywhere in Europe practically for free, I’ve known enough people who’ve worked behind the scenes to know it’s a pretty horrific company to work for — or even fly with — if you know what they know. Cheapness, apparently, doesn’t come cheap… it comes with a huge cost in customer service and, more importantly, competence and safety.
