A couple of police officers in Los Lunas, New Mexico ate about half of their Whoppers when all of a sudden, they noticed they were feeling pretty… mellow. Removing the bun, they discovered that the patties were peppered with mary jane. Pot. Marijuana to you squares.
Pharma Medicine
Kmart: We Already Have a $5 Generic Drug Plan.
By 9.22.06
In the wake of media buzz concerning Wal-Mart’s $4 dollar a month generic drug plan, and Target’s claim that they too will slash prices, Kmart has responded: But we already have a $5 a month plan, hello? Guys? Are you there?
WalMart Slashes Generic Prescription Prices
By 9.22.06
WalMart’s bouncing smiley face just danced up and down on top of your local CVS. Once the roof caved, he moved over to Walgreens, where the body count is pending. RiteAid is next. Cower in fear.
Coming Soon: Schizophrenics on Viagra
By 9.21.06
That’s right, Pfizer, of Viagra-fame has set its sights on a different illness, schizophrenia. “Researchers at Pfizer are using insights into Viagra to design experimental drugs that may improve on Zyprexa, the best- selling schizophrenia remedy from Eli Lilly & Co., with $4.2 billion in sales last year.”
Kmart Settles A Bunch of Lawsuits
By 9.20.06
It’s a big day at Kmart. They’ve settled a bunch of lawsuits and they’re ready to move on. To what, I don’t know. I haven’t been inside a K-mart since 1983, and neither has anyone else without a lawsuit pending.
CVS Won’t Accept You’re Not Stacy
By 9.1.06
Like an insane serial killer calling from the attic, drooling and sharpening his knives, CVS just can’t stop calling Robert B.
Money Saving Hack: Cut Out The Drugs
By 8.30.06
Broke again? Here’s a handy calculator to show you how much money you’re tossing down the bottle or needle a month and year, along with all the great things you could’ve bought instead.
Things That Disquieted Us in Today’s Business News
By 8.24.06
• McDonald’s number two man quits via flameout email screed. Grimace gets the nod.
Yeah Dude, Walgreens Blows
By 8.23.06
PikaPikaChick concurs, Walgreen’s is the suck. She even wrote a letter to them, expressing the degree of their suck, which is manifest.
UPDATE: Parexel Destroys Immune Systems, Avoids Liability
By 7.31.06
You may recall the test subjects of drug trial TGN1412 who were left seriously maimed moments after taking the experimental drug.
Study Reveals Poison Pill Among Hospital Prescriptions
By 7.25.06
A new study analyzing hospital prescriptions shows startling and potentially deadly trends.
Paxil Unafraid to Demonstrate Bling in ’98 Memo
By 7.20.06
You may recall Paxil as the inspiration for several Law & Order episodes. In 2004, NY Attorney General began proceedings against Paxil makers GlaxoSmithKline after the company suppressed five internal studies between 1998 and 2002 revealing links between the drug and incidences of suicide among its users, especially children and young adults.
Avoid Crack, Advises PeeWee Herman
By 7.15.06
Take from a man who knows, don’t take crack. Don’t even think about it. Crack cocaine is the most addictive form of coke and even pondering its chemical structure in an academic setting can causes serious lung and liver damage, breakdown of tooth enamel, delusional parasitosis, paralysis, and even indecent exposure.
The News Sexually Assualts the Senses
By 6.26.06
• Minions of Cinderfella? [New Orleans City Business] “Transvestite crime gangs pester Magazine Street owners”
