There’s only one good thing about nonsense holidays like National Ice Cream Day or National Donut Day: If you like the food being celebrated, restaurants have events where you can get discounts or free items. National Chicken Wing Day, July 29, is no exception.

Discounts

Buffalo Wild Wings: Small plates of boneless wings for $9.99, and traditional wings for $11.99.

East Coast Wings & Grill: Buy wings on the holiday, get a voucher for five free wings the next time you come back.

Hooters: Buy any 10 wings, get 10 smoked chicken wings free. They’re calling it “National Smoked Chicken Wing Day.”

Hurricane Grill & Wings: $1 wings and a free soda or beer if you spend $20 on food.

WingHouse: Buy 10 wings, get five free.

Wingstop: Buy wings, get five free boneless wings from 11 A.M. to 5 P.M.

We as a species deserve to have an asteroid take us out as soon as possible

The Office Tavern and Grill in New Jersey sent us an email about their offering for this “holiday,” which are wings that are 1,000 calories each. Per wing.

How on earth does that happen? The company wrote:

Each 1,000-calorie wing is freshly baked, breaded, fried, wrapped in bacon, tempura battered and fried again, crusted in potato chips and fried a third time, coated in melted Gorgonzola cheese and drizzled with spicy buffalo sauce and bleu cheese dressing.

What, no whipped cream? If you’re in New Jersey on Saturday, an order of these abominations costs $11.

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