If You Love The Ceiling Baby Scene In ‘Trainspotting’ Here’s A Real Estate Listing For You

Image courtesy of RE/MAX Fine Properties

Real estate listings can be weird — from a woman dressed in a panda suit popping up in every photo to a glorious 1980s time capsule — but there’s a difference between “kooky” and “creepy mannequins attached to the ceiling, ready to come alive and suck out your soul.”

Welcome to Richmond, TX, where a large, sprawling, and lovely house is on the market for $1.275 million. It’s also overflowing with the current homeowner’s art, which includes mannequins scattered around the home AND STUCK TO THE CEILING.

Deep breaths.

At first, it looks like the house is just a bit cluttered, with dolls and knicknacks and such crowding wall space, floors, and furniture.

But then we start to meet the resident mannequins: There’s a mannequin at the bar, waiting for a drink. There’s one dressed as a maid, watching over the dining room. And oh, look, there’s a mannequin sitting in front of the bed, watching TV, while another mannequin watches her:

Pretty creepy, huh? But if you had nightmares forever after the scene in Trainspotting [spoiler alert] where a dead baby skitters across the ceiling, well, you may want to turn away. Not only is there a mannequin child stuck midstep to the ceiling in one room:

There is also mannequin child riding a tricycle on the ceiling of the game room, heading straight for his next victim, perhaps:

But don’t worry, if you’ve soiled yourself by this point in the home tour, there is a helpful mannequin man dressed in only a towel, ready to assist you in the shower:

Unfortunately, whoever does walk away with what appears to be a lovely house buried underneath all that… stuff will not get to keep its current inhabitants, the listing notes.

“Unfortunately, the art goes with the artist!”

The nightmares, however, will probably never go away.