Here at Consumerist, we receive a wide variety of e-mails: reader complaints, pleas for help, links to news articles and blog posts, bafflingly irrelevant press releases, grammar corrections, insider confessions, and funny photos. We read and appreciate all of it, but sometimes we receive messages that we simply don’t understand.

It isn’t just that we don’t understand what the person is saying, though sometimes that is the problem. In other cases, we don’t understand why this person is contacting us, and why it is they think that we are the company they’re trying to reach.

We have blocked out names, e-mail addresses, and some locations to protect our correspondents. Sometimes people copy us on their e-mails when writing to a company, but that was not the case here. We did not block out any addressees or company names.

This correspondent was probably trying to reach Keurig, but it’s not clear. They reached us instead, anyway.

(no subject)

Sent from my iPhone this is third machine giving me trouble when you press large cup you get half

(no subject)

The Samsung Galaxy
S4 active is.a.nice device to invest in. I
Just up graded my device. In doing.so the Kirk at left the status.indicators or
Neon white. There were neon.green.before and much better to see. It would be nice
If they were another
Neon color. Thankyou.

I lost all my phone contacts how can I get them

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: Driver

I would like to talk to you about your store [redacted] it is important you know please give me a call [redacted] thank you . You need to here this so you can address the issues. For your long term company’s.

(no subject)

To Whom it May Concern: I am appalled by a decision made by either the corporate office or the Dearborn office, to allow the entree of Sharia laws/rules into one of your stores. This is The United States of America. When small minorities of radical activists, Homosexual and Muslim, start dictating to the majority in this country of my birth, to American businesses, how to run the business. I must choose to no longer utilize your store. Perhaps you care, perhaps you don’t. I still love my country. I will fight back against sharia law or any accommodation thereof.

There’s a second category of messages that we don’t understand: people writing to a company about a topic that we’ve covered here on the site, and who have something to say to the companies responsible, but who have somehow reached us instead.

Pitch fork

I bought a Rigid garden fork at your [redacted] store a few years ago but seldom used it. Saturday I was using it to dig some day lilies and it broke; not the handle, but the steel where it goes into the handle.
I have been to two of your stores ([redacted] and [redacted]) but can’t get it resolved or replaced. One ‘returns’ lady told me I didn’t buy it there! I left quietly, but not at all satisfied!
I remember I paid around $35 for it, thinking it was a lot, but I’d never have to buy another one. Can you help me? Thank you for your attention.
Rev. [redacted]

Subject: Lemon Oreos

I have not eaten cookies in years.
While shopping today I saw a display of lemo

cookies,I thought I was seeing things.
I have always wondered “why not lemon”I love lemon.. I just wish there could be a bit more lemon and less sugar in the creme
Thanks

🙂

This e-mail was most likely directed to Wells Fargo, since their CEO is John Stumpf, though it’s possible there is another bank headed by a Mr. Stump.

(no subject)

called Mr stump office about over draft fees two 35.00 fees that I got charged after the transaction got approve but I had a larger automatic withdrawal that come in before the two smaller ones got submitted which left me negative. Because I haven’t had over drafts before they agree to reimbursement me 70.00 for two over draft. But the customer service refused to do . Ty to u all ty all very much.

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