Last week, we poked fun at McDonald’s for not only taking nearly a week to respond to a simple question about dipping sauces, but for turning that response into one of the most convoluted marketing messages we’ve ever received. After getting some Egg McMuffin on its face, the fast food giant has finally provided a more straightforward response.

Just to recap: We reached out to McDonald’s on behalf of a few Consumerist readers who wanted to know if they would ever be able to dip their McNuggets in the Hot Mustard dipping sauce that had been part of the chain’s menu for decades.

Rather than say “yes” or “no,” a McD’s marketing mechanism churned out a 60-word marketing spiel about how f-ing awesome some blah blah bold blah habanero ranch sauce is, and how this bold buttkicker of a laboratory project could also be found on other McDonald’s menu items that we didn’t ask about.

After we published our goofy little post, McDonald’s re-reached out to us, apologizing for the lack of clarity, and stating without qualification, “McDonald’s is removing Hot Mustard sauce from our lineup due to its slow moving performance.”

See? Was that so painful?

Had McDonald’s just sent us that to begin with, there would have been no post. We would have sent the info on to the readers that asked about it and that’s where it would have ended.

But the Golden Arches couldn’t resist the temptation to slather on all the marketing language it could, trying to stuff the message of “HABANERO RANCH IS SO DANG RAD YOUR GREAT-GRANDKIDS WILL BE BORN CRAVING IT!!!!!!” down consumers’ throats like so many handfuls of salty fries.

Anyway, all this talk about dipping sauces with horrible names makes us hungry for some Franch dressing from the folks at Madrigal Elektromotoren.

So here is some (badly re-edited) footage of one of the company’s dipping sauce taste test sessions (Don’t watch if you haven’t seen Breaking Bad but plan to do so at some point) —

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