Can someone please help a guy out and buy the $1,800 engagement ring he’s selling on Craigslist so he won’t have to cast it into the fiery pit from whence it came? Because we’ve seen how tough it is to get into Mordor (you can’t just walk into that place, you know) and we wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Some unfortunate soul apparently had a tough time with the engagement ring’s former owner, writing in the Craigslist ad (H/T to HuffPo) that it’s a great ring in 14K white gold in “like new condition.” But there’s just this one thing: “Only worn for a short period by Satan herself.”

On that note, its next owner should be warned that the Eye of Sauron could follow wherever this ring goes, it seems.

Warning: ring may be cursed as it tends to leave a path of destruction behind it. Possible events associated with this ring include but are not limited to: damage sustained to house, vehicle, heart, downed powerlines, fallen trees, and swarms of locus. I would highly recommend taking action to counter the whirlwind of bad mojo that surround this piece of jewelry. Should consider having curse removed by voodoo priest or something before presenting to loved one. Other than that a very nice piece of jewelry.

That’s a pretty long laundry list of bad things but hey, it’s a very nice piece of jewelry! Do buy it soon, someone, because he doesn’t want any more bad luck and would “rather have cash.”

And if that’s not enough to convince you, consider his potentially bleak and fiery future: “If not sold by Christmas I plan to throw it into the fires of Mordor.”

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Just don’t expect any help from Gandalf because we’re pretty sure he’s busy with The Hobbit right now.

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