Full disclosure: I love ranch dressing with an unholy fire summoned deep from within my Midwestern soul. I will dip pizza into ranch dressing with more enjoyment than I reserve for most special occasions. But that being said, at least I know that it’s not worth getting into fisticuffs when my ranch dressing intentions are thwarted, which can’t be said for one Jack in the Box customer.

The love of ranch dressing allegedly moved a Seattle area man to physical action after he apparently had already asked for — and received — two packets of ranch dressing, reports KOMO News.

Things got tricky when said customer allegedly asked for a third packet of ranch and was informed that it would cost a whopping $0.25. This prompted a loss of temper that many would find unseemly and tarnishes the good name of those of us others for whom ranch dressing is also a delight.

Angered over the price, the man reportedly berated the cashier about being fleeced by a quarter, yelling enough that the cashier decided to just give up the fight and hand over the packet sans fee.

Alas, the ranch dressing didn’t soothe his cantankerous spirit with its cream goodness — he continued to yell, say cops, until a fellow customer tried to intervene. The man then allegedly knocked the other customer over on his way out, before riding into the sunset on a purple bicycle.

May your ranch dressing always taste curdled for being such a bad consumer, sir.

Police: Angry ranch fan attacks 68-year-old Jack in the Box customer [KOMO News]

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