While we do business with them here on Earth, some companies exist in a strange and wondrous land. A land where there is no death. It would be really nice to live there, but it’s incredibly frustrating to do business with companies that don’t understand that everyone here on our plane of existence dies. Everyone. ScotTrade doesn’t understand that, which is why reader Ryan tells us that they’re demanding a pile of paperwork in order to stop sending one of their late customers mail.

My girlfriend found that her father who had passed away still had an open ScotTrade account, with a balance of negative 89 cents (from a positive $1.00).

She tried to call the customer service line to close the account as they were still sending him mail, and when she explained to the CSR Matt that all she wanted to do was to close his account as he was deceased, he gave her a remarkably negative tone and unhelpful attitude at her attempt to deal with her father’s affairs. He said that as he had a debt, closing the account would take more than just a death certificate.

She asked if she could pay the 89 cents in her father’s name and he said no – in order to close the account he said that she needed to send:

1) A court appointed letter
2) Form of a personal representative of the estate
3) Official death certificate with the seal

At a cost of 1.50 each Fax from Kinko’s.

All for 89 cents.

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