Parents, Do Everyone A Favor And Keep Your Toddlers Away From These Public Places

Some parents think its adorable for their tykes to scream their ABCs in public or use waiting room chairs as jungle gyms. Most others, though, are simply annoyed by the presence of unruly rugrats and would rather not be subjected to their antics while they try to take care of business.

Rants From Mommyland advises parents to keep their little kids away from these places:

* Doctor’s offices. Waiting rooms are hectic enough without screaming children who don’t need to be there. Kids tend to run around the wide open spaces, only adding to the stress level.

* Barber shops and salons. Your kids won’t wait quietly for you as you get a haircut. They’ll be understandably bored and possibly freaked out, looking to draw your attention the best way they know how, by acting out.

* The library. It’s important to read to kids, but make sure to do it in the privacy of your own home. People expect relative quiet inside, including the children’s area, so keep them away unless it’s to attend a storytime event.

5 Places NOT to Take a Toddler [Rants From Mommyland]


Edit Your Comment

  1. Torgonius wants an edit button says:

    tattoo parlors, opium dens and pediatricians’ offices.

    • YouDidWhatNow? says:

      Crack houses, strip clubs, and Catholic churches.

    • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDave‚Ñ¢ says:

      But Opium Dens are where Dodgeball was invented…

    • lostalaska says:

      I’ll also add bars to that list, one of the worst things about taking smoking out of bars is that too many parents now think it’s fine to bring their kids in with them when they want to have a few drinks. Honestly it just weirds me out when parents do this… and I’m not talking about a pub/restaurant where a parent could argue about just coming in for dinner and a beer I’m talking about a dive bar…. the things you see in Alaskan bars.

      • cynner says:

        If said bar requires all patrons to be 21 or older, then you can’t bring your baby with you. A bar owner that allows babies could lose one’s liquor license.

    • jefeloco says:

      You forgot sperm banks, children probably shouldn’t be there either, unless you’re showing them where daddy came from…

    • haggis for the soul says:

      abattoirs, porn shops, day care centers.

    • iblamehistory says:

      I’ll actually take my kid to a tattoo/piercing shop when she’s old enough to want her ears pierced and know how to properly care for them (which doesn’t involve twisting the jewelry).

      Unlike places in the mall, licensed studios won’t pierce a child’s ears before they’re old enough to know what’s going on, so they won’t mutilate infants (or anyone else) by using an unsterile gun to blast a dull rod through the ear and then give horrible aftercare instructions.

      People who are actually serious about the art of body modification would be over the moon to see a child come in to get their ears pierced properly.

      • RayanneGraff says:

        This. I always see babies & toddlers getting their ears punched like cattle at Claire’s & Walmart, and I cringe every time. One mother had her infant’s ears TRIPLE-PIERCED at Claire’s once. I was pretending to browse just so I could watch. That poor baby was screaming so hard she was literally turning purple.

        Piercing guns need to be banned. They’re just a smaller version of the ear-tag guns they use on cattle. Traumatic & unsanitary, it’s honestly better to just do it yourself at home with a sewing needle. I got my ears all pierced up with a gun when I was younger & I always had problems with them. I always had infections & I have permanent marks on my ears thanks to non-hypoallergenic earrings.

        • MsEllenT says:

          I’m sorry you had a bad experience. Not everyone is traumatised by having their ears pierced with a gun at a Claire’s type place; believe it or not, some people have no problems at all. Amazing, huh?

  2. Phil Keeps It Real [Consumerist] says:

    …the I.R.S. office, Duane Reade, & a nite at the opera.

  3. flyingember says:

    That article is insulting.

    • chefboyardee says:

      Fully agreed.

    • Youngfrankenstein says:

      Very much so.

    • dadelus says:

      How so?

      • neilb says:

        It makes the assumption that children are second-class citizens and that these areas are meant for adults, not children. Instead, we should be accepting and encouraging children.
        The uptick in DINK outrage (ranging from dismissing birthing/breastfeeding as a natural part of society to, well, this) that refuses to acknowledge the role that kids play in our society. It is myopic and destructive. Do we really want: “It takes a village to vilify a child.”

        • jeadly says:

          I’m pretty sure that children actually ARE generally accepted to be second-class citizens.

        • dadelus says:

          While I understand your concern regarding “DINK” outrage. There are also issues with “Mommy” outrage. There are places kids shouldn’t be brought and that is that.

          I agree that some of the places mentioned in this article are outrageous, but the heart of it to me is this. If you know your kids are prone to meltdowns, don’t put them in an uncontrolled public scenario where that will happen. Failing that, learn how to manage the meltdown and correct the childs behavior in a way that has the least effect on those around you.

          Yes, I’m a “DINK”, but I don’t hate kids. I just don’t agree that children should be allowed to meltdown without any parental correction or containment. It isn’t impossible. I watch my nieces and nephews often. A few times each year we watch them for a week or more when their parents want some alone time. From the first time that we have watched them, my wife and I have made it clear to them that we will not tolerate outbursts like that in public. We’ve only had one or two such outbursts and they were dealt with promptly by removing the child from the situation and explaining to them that their behavior is unacceptable. They are very well behaved for us, and our nephew has a severe case of ADHD (doctors diagnoses, not mine)

          If we can accomplish this with little or no experience parenting I don’t understand why full-time parents cannot do the same.

          • HogwartsProfessor says:

            That is exactly what my mother did, and exactly what I hope to do if I have kids. If we acted up, we got a warning, and if we didn’t stop, it was home time. Next time, we didn’t go.

            She finally had to give up completely on taking us to the grocery store because we whined so much for snacks. That meant that for the rest of our childhood, we ate the same damn snack forever–Nutter Butter cookies and green grapes. To this day I can’t look a Nutter Butter in the face.

          • neilb says:

            Thanks for the response. I have a lot of DINK friends who don’t get it.
            They think kids are these static creatures with no emotional changes. Our kids are role models for great behavior, but they still have their emotional moments (just like adults do…they just lack the ability to inhibit the emotion-to-behavior link as much).
            We also let them do things that they need to do as humans. On a 5-hr flight? We let them walk the aisles so they don’t unleash that energy in negative ways.
            Should kids be allowed nearly everywhere? Yes. We should accept a bell-curve of behavior from them and it should not be the same one that we expect from adults.
            Even the best parents will have their children exhibit behavior that is considered awful bad adult behavior. They are not static or completely predictable.
            Patience is the primary parental learning. Instead of accepting adult behavior as the sole norm (the village accepting the vilification of kid behavior), I think it is better for the village to accept that patience is a universal human need.
            There is, unfortunately, no way to completely avoid bad child behavior, no matter how great of a parent one is.
            We are lucky. Our very reasonable friends with the oppositional-defiant kid are not.
            The point is that their “meltdown situation” might only take an average of 2 public trips. Ours might take 100. Judge like the parents are the 1 in 100 meltdown type, not like they are the 1 in 2. Better yet, don’t judge. Look at it as an opportunity to gain patience. This might not be optional, even if one does not have kids of one’s own. :)

        • dadelus says:

          Do we really want: “It takes a village to vilify a child.”

          I have no desire to vilify any child, regardless of behavior. They’re just doing what they do. I blame the parents for not being…well, parents. After all, they chose to have children and if they can’t handle the realities, maybe they should have chose differently.

        • Kaonashi says:

          Children are second class citizens in that they aren’t responsible for their own actions and as such shouldn’t be in certain places.

    • stooj says:


    • Michael Belisle says:

      If you read the article, you’ll find that the Consumerist summary is insulting. It perverts the actual message of the article. Obviously, the article is not saying to avoid taking your kid to the pediatrician (not doctor, as Phil says) for, umm, the benefit of other parents?

      The actual message is more like “damn, it’s hard to be a parent.”

      • Reader101 says:

        I agree. I was insulted by the summary, but when I read the original post, it was completely different. She is not telling people not to take their kids places, rather, she is venting about her own kids.

    • zippy says:

      It’s just link bait. Post up something that’s really outrageous, get people all worked up and sending the link to each other, get Consumerist to cover it, watch the hits and ad revenue flow in.

  4. Evil_Otto would rather pay taxes than make someone else rich says:

    1) Unless it’s your kid that’s going to the doctor…

    2) Unless it’s your kid getting his/her hair cut…

    3) Unless you’re taking your kid to the children’s room…

    Thanks, Phil!

    • Hi_Hello says:

      actually..i think according to the articles, you don’t even take them there even if they need to go there….

      • Evil_Otto would rather pay taxes than make someone else rich says:

        … kind of my point?

        • The Porkchop Express says:

          1. Faith healer is not included in here

          2. let grow it out

          3. they don’t need to read, they’re easier to keep in line if they can’t read.

  5. Blueskylaw says:

    I don’t have any kids (yet ;-) but even I know that when kids want to cry then they will cry; stopping continental drift would seem to be an easier task than trying to turn your kid into a recluse in order to keep their antics away from the general populace.

    • RayanneGraff says:

      And I hope you never have kids, cause it sounds like you’ll be the kind of parent who sees nothing wrong with letting your screaming 2 year old “cry it out” in the middle of a nice restaurant.

      • Blueskylaw says:

        So you’re saying there never is a time when a baby is allowed to cry in public? I’m beginning to hope that you also never become a parent.

        See how these conversations work now?

        • JennQPublic says:

          Baby =/= kid. A baby has no self-control, and should be brought to few places because of it.

          Kids should be able to avoid meltdowns. If they can, bring ’em out. If they can’t, keep them home and examine your parenting technique until you figure out how to teach them self-control.

  6. sspeedracer says:

    Painfully obvious that few, if any, Consumerist writers and editors have any children themselves.

  7. Hi_Hello says:

    wow… i stop readying the blog after 1/2 way.

    • OSAM says:

      You stopped readying it? Wow, no wonder everything Phil puts out seems half-baked: you’ve only gotten it half-ready!

      See folks, it’s all this guy’s fault!

  8. Fujikopez says:

    So, I will not take them to the doctor anymore or foster a love of public libraries?
    What age is appropriate? 10? 12?

    • qwickone says:

      Relax, the article says toddler. I think that’s over at 5 years old.

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        But even so…I don’t have kids, but I have friends who do and they take their 3 year olds to the library so they can pick books so they can be involved in choosing what their parent reads to them. I don’t see anything wrong with having toddlers in a library as long as they’re not shrieking at the top of their lungs. If they are, you make a quick exit and don’t bring them back until they are given the parental stink eye and told to behave “or else.”

        • frugalmom says:

          Exactly. My kids have gone to the library at least weekly since birth, and they are generally well-behaved. When they’re not, we leave. Our library is also set up so that most adults are working upstairs during the day. The children’s section is downstairs.

          • pamelad says:

            I frequent our local branch library. There is a children’s room and a teen section. There has been only one instance of a screaming brat whose parent didn’t promptly remove him from the building.

            Otherwise, all parents have been considerate of other patrons, providing welcome relief for others and good lessons for the kids about how to behave in public. I feel sorry for that kid, who had no discipline and whose mother let him scream and disturb others in a library. And I feel sorry for the kid, his future classmates and any further effects he may have on society.

            People like that kid‚Äôs mother shouldn’t be allowed to breed.

    • RecordStoreToughGuy_RidesTheWarpOfSpaceIntoTheWombOfNight says:


    • kobresia says:

      They shouldn’t be going to libraries until they are old enough to know better than to pull books off shelves and throw them on the floor, or rip-out pages & scribble in the books.

  9. TheMansfieldMauler says:

    Also, airplanes.

    • pythonspam says:

      Non-fast food restaurants.

      • pythonspam says:

        Unless they can behave – a.k.a. old enough to not start crying and mature/parented enough so they don’t throw temper tantrums.

        • Thalia says:

          Even teenagers have temper tantrums. In fact, teenagers are worse than toddlers in many ways.

    • Princess Beech loves a warm cup of treason every morning says:

      I was waiting for this. :) And the next comment. Some parents don’t even try to shut up their kids.

  10. momtimestwo says:

    My kids have always behaved in public, but I see a zillion others who do not and I think it all comes down to parenting. And I’ve never hit them or resorted to violence. Just a simple “no xbox tonight if you continue” or “if you continue to act this way, watch how fast your computer is gone from your room when we get home” speech works well. (and I do follow through!) Plus, at a young age, you have to explain to them what appropriate behavior is in public and why people have to act a certain way. And keep telling them until they get it. What’s ok at home isn’t ok away from home. Like my 7 year old son yelling “I farted!” and running through the house is ok, but not at the library:)

    • PercussionQueen7 says:

      Hell, my brother was doing that at age 19… ;)

    • Kate says:

      Nah, it’s the kid. My daughter didn’t shriek, but she was a veritable monkey and I spent all my time telling her to get down and not climb on things.

  11. nellybelly says:

    This list is total BS. What are pregnant moms with kids supposed to do? Shell out 30 bucks once a week when she has to go to the doctor? My husband is a librarian and the “SHHHHHH!” model was phased out of libraries decades ago. Unless you are in a reading room, libraries are now supposed to be centers of community activity and that means, yes, noise. Especially in children’s rooms. Most have train tables, puppet theaters, blocks, bead mazes, etc, etc in them now.

    • SerenityDan says:

      I agree most of the list is BS but not all library systems work like that. My library is still a very quiet place where you will be SHHH’d.

    • dadelus says:

      That would be dependent on area. The libraries in my area are still typically quiet areas. The childrens’ book area is literally walled off from the rest of the library.

    • ckspores says:

      While I encourage everyone to bring their children to libraries, my library does not encourage the obnoxious behavior we often see in the quiet areas of the library by unsupervised, bratty toddlers and young children. Bring them to the library if they can behave themselves. Maybe a park is a better option for a kid that just wants to scream, climb, and run.

    • Jane_Gage says:

      Highland Beach FTW. They call me “kid” because I’m the only one under the age of 60 who uses it. And there’s a nice view of the intercoastal and no Xmas crap because everyone’s Jewish.

  12. bender123 says:

    Wow…this takes the cake as the worst list I have ever seen…With kids, you practically live in a doctors office (for annual check ups and sick visits), being a guy I can not speak for the salon and the library? Really? So anyplace that can be used to teach kids how to behave is off limits? Why not list restaurants…kids get messy and noisy there…or Church, kids always cry and scream there too. Maybe this fool should also include: cars, public transportation, airplanes, dentists, banks, grocery stores, kindergarten, family gatherings and the park (people may be reading a book on a sylvan glen…cant let the playground become too noisy and disturb them.)

    • MaryK says:

      Restaurants is listed in the main article. Along with shoe shopping.

      • Kuchen says:

        I just buy my daughter shoes and try them on at home now because she would scream to the point of throwing up at the shoe store. Luckily, she’s easier to fit now that her feet are less baby chubby.

        This is also the worst, most misleading summary possible for the original post. The original post is meant to be a humorous rant about her own children, not a serious list of places you shouldn’t take kids.

    • RecordStoreToughGuy_RidesTheWarpOfSpaceIntoTheWombOfNight says:

      I know, right? Church is the worst. I hate when we’re about to sacrifice a white bullock so that its blood bathes the naked virgins below it and someone’s brat starts acting out. Totally kills the moment.

  13. Fumanchu says:

    Read the linked article, and all I have to say is what the hell happened to parenting. Now there is a certain age range to which you basically can’t control your kid which is from 0 to probably around 2-3. After that, everything in this article could be handeled with proper parenting. People, you need to dicipline your kids… If you don’t have a firm hand they will walk all over you.

  14. foodfeed says:

    Please keep infants out of movie theaters. Last time I was at the theater there was a baby taking a dump in the seat behind me stinking up the area, burping and occasionally crying.

    • dwtomek says:

      Agreed. My thinking is that opposed to letting in infants free of charge, there should be a significant fee so as to make paying for a babysitter a more attractive option. If I have to listen to your infant for the duration of the movie, you should at least be paying a hefty premium for that privilege. I think somewhere in the neighborhood of $50 would be reasonable.

    • cynner says:

      One of my local theaters allows infants, but only with full-price tickets.

    • RecordStoreToughGuy_RidesTheWarpOfSpaceIntoTheWombOfNight says:

      That was me, sorry.


    • Jemaine says:

      Not only infants, but toddlers too. I went to a few movies last year that was rated R with some nudity such as Hall Pass… No reason children should be watching that and running around.

    • HogwartsProfessor says:

      I agree….they always cry, and those loud speakers can’t be good for their little ears.

  15. HowardRoarksTSquare says:

    1. The Theater.
    2. Restaurants that require a jacket
    3. Airplanes

    • Evil_Otto would rather pay taxes than make someone else rich says:

      #3 is why iPods and other music players exist. Kids are going to need to fly, and when they do, they scream because their ears hurt or they feel restricted or just because. Put in your earbuds and enjoy some music. Works for me.

      • HowardRoarksTSquare says:

        It does until the kid starts kicking your chair

        • Evil_Otto would rather pay taxes than make someone else rich says:

          I guess you just shouldn’t fly then, if you’re so bothered by this stuff.

        • RecordStoreToughGuy_RidesTheWarpOfSpaceIntoTheWombOfNight says:

          Use your fancy degrees to invent something to compensate for it, then.

    • Cat says:

      #3. Airplanes.

      I suppose you’re right, I’ll just leave my toddlers at home to fend for themselves for a week or two.

      I don’t know if you’re ignorant, sarcastic, But I know you don’t have kids.

    • ninabi says:

      Remember, if you left your baby or toddler at home while you dine or fly, at least one other parent will graciously bring theirs along for all the other diners and passengers to enjoy.

    • Thalia says:

      If you do not like children, restrict yourself to places children aren’t permitted: your home and the homes of likeminded folk, and bars. The rest of the world is open to other people’s “crotch fruit” and you’ll just have to live with it. I know, it’s such an imposition, this whole continuation of the species thing.

  16. RyanK80 says:

    This article is stupid. I’m guessing you don’t have kids, Phil. If you did, you wouldn’t post such garbage.

    You should take your kids practically everywhere. Let them see everything, and teach them to act appropriately in public situations.

  17. sirnic00 says:

    Library who still uses one of those, even Encyclopedia Britannica is no longer doing print.

  18. EdnasEdibles says:

    So wait – is children’s storytime at the library a vicious trap to lure me into a web of ridicule over my parenting skills? And the summer reading program for children? I’m so confused.

  19. Lethe says:

    Wow- really? Don’t take children to the children’s section of the library? WHAT IS IT THERE FOR???

    • neilb says:

      :) Those kids aren’t even paying taxes!! Only adults should be allowed to use the library!
      Come to think of it. Kids have been heard in: Churches, schools (where they disrupt teachers!), and grocery stores.
      These abominations should be restricted to their homes so those of us who have forgotten about our own childhoods can ignore the reality that people exist outside of our ages!
      Come to think of it, the elderly can be downright annoying too, with their “special needs” and lack of mobility. Maybe they should just stay at home too!

  20. PietroCrazy says:

    Nobody should be allowed to leave the house until they reach 18. That’s the best way to raise well-adjusted adults who can behave in public.

  21. Zelgadis says:

    Cue entitled parents who think they can take their “little angels” anywhere they want…

    • HowardRoarksTSquare says:

      Clearly ever other child misbehaves but their little Timmy or Sally is a well behaved and adjusted individual that NEVER acts out in public

      • Thalia says:

        Clearly we should leave humans locked up in a cage until we can guarantee they will never act inappropriately. Oh wait, I guess that means forever, because I have seen drunken assholes act worse than any child.

  22. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    So do you get like, referral kickbacks or something? Is that why you only post part of the article?

  23. Gorbachev says:

    I mean, yea, like totally don’t take your kids to a library, ever.


  24. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    On a more serious note: Grocery Stores, and shopping in General. Unless it’s something you need your kid around for (fitting for new shoes, clothes, et cetera) then don’t bring them with you.

    • OSAM says:

      Great idea: I’ll tell my sister in law to just leave the kids (1 and 3) at home next time she goes to the store while her husband is working.

      • binder34 says:

        Or maybe she can wait until her husband gets home to do the shopping? Or have a relative or neighbor watch the kids while she’s out? Or get a babysitter? No one is suggesting to leave small kids unsupervised, and there’s no need to be obtuse about it.

        • smo0 says:

          Don’t have kids unless you can afford a nanny.

          I’m sick of the poor trash of this country being the only ones who breed – and not only that, seem entitled to do so.

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      I agree. I’ve had to dodge many wayward children in the grocery aisles. It’s not so much that they run away from their parent, it’s that they don’t understand they shouldn’t be walking alongside the cart in a tight aisle and they tend to walk with complete disregard for other people, so I’ve had more than one kid run straight into my path.

  25. Dont lump me into your 99%! says:

    It sounds like the mommy on that blog just dont have control over her kids. Sure kids act out sometimes, but some of the things she mentions in the blog reeks of not disciplining the children when they act out.

  26. "I Like Potatoes" says:

    You should never take your kids shoe shopping. They should wear bags on their feet until the age of 5. Stupid.

  27. Manny says:

    Phil, just quit and find a new job….You are wasting my time by reading these articles.

  28. adamacus says:

    Everybody’s kid is different. You just need to know your child’s limitations and be ready with a plan (various diversions, take a walk outside, etc.) in case things aren’t going so great. And yeah I’m a parent, so I get +5 credibility.

  29. GuyGuidoEyesSteveDave‚Ñ¢ says:

    Phil, you’re a parent. How do you feel about these suggestions?

    • Michael Belisle says:

      I’m sure Phil hates taking his kid to the pediatrician too. I don’t get why he changed the message to make it some sort of thing about “for the greater good” that isn’t in the article.

  30. Misha says:

    I DON’T have kids and I still think this list is a crock. Because we all know that doctor’s appointments can always be scheduled for times when someone else is available to watch the kids – yeah, right.

  31. cspschofield says:

    Since many people don’t have any choice but to take their children with them if they want to get any errands done, I have two suggestions to make life endurable for the rest of us;

    1) Teach your children what constitutes acceptable behavior in public.

    2) The rest of us should stop freaking out an calling CPS when we see some adult giving a whining brat a much needed smack.

  32. Cicadymn says:

    Not everyone can be a billionaire like Phil and can afford to keep an army of illegal maids to take care of their children every waking moment.

    Parents should try to control their kids better, sure. But at the doctors office I can’t blame any kid of being loud or upset. Especially the ones that are in pain. I was a kid once, and Doctors offices were either the most boring or painful places in existence.

  33. eddison72 says:

    Unbelievable and asinine replies. Talk about a bunch of selfish crybabies. Honestly, I’d probably rather deal with your children than with some of you whining windbags who think you are more important than everyone else in the world because of the livestock you spawned.

    Good luck getting ‘generation narcissism’ to respect the public at large. They will assume the right to do anything they want, and not to make a single sacrifice in lieu of having children. Yes, there are places where you’ll need to bring the children like supermarkets and doctor visits, but when you bring the 4 kiddies aged 7 months – 7 years to a sushi restaurant, you should be beaten, branded with a curling iron, and sent home. What gives you the right to push your screaming kids on the rest of us? YOU wanted kids, YOU make the sacrifice – don’t impose a sacrifice on the rest of us. The reason these selfish prima donna parents get away with this nonsense is because people tolerate it, grumble quietly and then leave. Bring them to a theater or an adult restaurant in front of me and I assure you, you’ll leave fully aware that you are not in fact the center of the universe. You wanted children. Your life will change. DEAL WITH IT.

    • nbs2 says:

      But, if isn’t a private establishment or contributing to the delinquency of a minor (or whatever the charge would be for going to a strip club), why shouldn’t I bring a member of the public who may be a bit younger than you?

      • eddison72 says:

        It’s about respect. Showing respect for other people who have no responsibility to tolerate your children. It doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes a responsible parent who has a healthy respect for the public sphere.

        • nbs2 says:

          So, if I’m understanding correctly, parents should refrain from bringing their children into the public sphere because the child’s behavior may not conform to the behavior of a percentage of the population (which may or may not be the majority, depending on venue). Moreover, it is not incumbent on other adults to tolerate either the parent for bringing the child or the child whose behavior is non-conformist, but rather it is essential that the parents be aware of the due respect which those without children merit.

          Am I right?

          • eddison72 says:

            Places in the public sphere where people are *paying* to enjoy themselves, relax or be entertained. Parents have to bring children with them sometimes, such as the grocery store, DMV, doctor’s office, etc. However, I am referring to adult themed places like restaurants, libraries, bars, theaters (sans children’s movies), etc. If I pay money to be somewhere for a mature atmosphere and entertainment, then I have a right to enjoy that paid environment without the nuisance of unruly children being unleashed on me. Further, if people have money to go to a restaurant or a theater, then they have money for a babysitter. I don’t hate or even blame the kids. Children need to be accounted for, and sadly we live in a self-absorbed world full of people who feel entitled to do whatever they want and screw everyone else. That entitlement extends so absurdly far today, that people let the TV, elementary school and the daycare center raise their children (boo-hoo we need to work two jobs so we can have all this stuff…). Many usually do nothing to monitor or control their children’s behavior outside the home. There are places where I am more than willing to tolerate the presence of children in public – absolutely- , but if I am in a public place where I am paying to be in an adult-themed setting, then I expect it to be free of children. I say this because I know that I cannot expect the narcissistic bozo parents to take responsibility for them.

    • RecordStoreToughGuy_RidesTheWarpOfSpaceIntoTheWombOfNight says:

      It’s funny how everything you said applies to you.

      • eddison72 says:

        Well, you’re a sharp one! I do appreciate when someone pees directly into the wind. Yes even though I don’t have children I shouldn’t impose my will on others in the public sphere and force them to make sacrifices on my behalf. Outstanding. Look how witty you thought you were, yet you were (somewhat ironically, and accidentally) correct the whole time.

    • RayanneGraff says:

      *wild applause*

      Couldn’t have said it better myself. YOU wanted the brats, YOU take care of them, and keep the damn things at home if they can’t behave themselves.

  34. TakingItSeriously is a Technopile says:

    I usually stay off the Bash the Phill Bus, but I have never seen him write such a myopic, self centered, self rightious article that got my dander up. Crappy reporting and article writing skills aside this article and the linked blog are insulting to competent parents.

  35. Martha Gail says:

    That Mommyland article just makes me think she doesn’t control her children. I sold shoes for nearly 15 years, 9 of them in a big box environment. When kids were misbehaving and moms couldn’t control them, it only took me a few minutes to get the kid corralled and measured, shoes picked out and tried on and everybody on their way.

    Sometimes it was a matter of using my in-charge voice and using reason, sometimes it was a matter of handing the other sibling something to read or play with while the first one was being measured and fitted. I’m amazed at how little control parents have over their children and how unprepared they are for going in public, despite the giant diaper bags that fit every item from home in it. I swear, retail is great birth control.

    • PercussionQueen7 says:

      The best birth control I’ve ever used was hanging out with my friend who’s a single mom with two boys under the age of 4. If it’s not one of them acting out and screaming, it’s the other one, and then one will set the other off. And she truly is trying her damndest to parent – it’s just two against one, so the kids win.

    • HogwartsProfessor says:

      Honestly, my brother was like the kid in the article at the shoe store. My sister and I loved going for shoes, but he was just the biggest whiner in the entire universe. It was not only embarrassing but annoying even for us kids. Thank God he saved the “BUT THEY DON’T FEEEEEEEEL GOOOOOOOD!!” fit for when we got home.

      Of course, back then, people didn’t harrumph and feel like they simply MUST comment on a person’s parenting skills whenever a small child got crabby or tearful. And our mother pretty much made us behave or we didn’t go.

  36. GJaunts says:

    Awful, non-newsworthy article, but I will say that kids in the grocery store drive me crazy. GET OUT OF THE WAAAAAAAAY…

    • Cicadymn says:

      You know it’s funny. I was at the store the other day looking at some stuff on the shelf, a woman came down the other side looking at the other stuff. Then a woman wheeled around the corner real fast and started huffing loudly until we noticed her, there was room for her to get through, but she didn’t think so.

      So I pushed my cart away and the other woman moved off. There was a little girl with her mother who after the woman left said “That was really rude mommy, you should have said excuse me.” Then the mother screamed back “SHE WAS IN THE WAY YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY EXCUSE ME WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE IN THE WAY!”

      I felt so bad that the mother had a smart, nice little girl and was “teaching” her such horrible things. I had to hightail it out of there to keep from going off.

  37. solipsistnation says:

    This is a stupid summary of a vaguely satirical (but not very well-written) article.

    Your posting is bad and you should feel bad.

  38. Worstdaysinceyesterday says:

    How about this…take your kid where ever you want. But do not let him or her run around willy nilly, always use the inside voice, come with a coloring book or something to keep them occupied, and if they cannot follow the rules for adult places please leave. Yes it is a pain, but it works and teaches kids that they are not in charge.

  39. Snullbug says:

    The blog doesn’t just say “doctor” it says “pediatrician”. Bitch – please! Don’t take your child to the pediatrician’s office? What, you’re supposed to take him/her to a witch doctor/shaman/psychic surgeon? Stopped reading at that point.

    • cynner says:

      The article said “don’t take your kid to the pediatrician if he/she doesn’t need to be there.” For example, to pick up a prescription refill or drop off an immunization form.

      • Snullbug says:

        BZZZZZT! Wrong. Quote “Now let me tell you about the five places you should avoid taking your toddler AT ALL COSTS.
        1. The Pediatrician”
        She goes on to ramble about her experiences picking up prescriptions to no point.

  40. jenolen2161 says:

    I still recall my mom threatening to count to three and if I hadn’t calmed down by then, I was whisked out of wherever we were (grocery store, restaurant) and brought outside to the car to calm down. I was so nosy and afraid I’d miss something exciting that I’d usually calm down before the punishment. My parents also recognized that small children can entertain themselves best when there are toys to do so. I marvel at parents who expect their toddlers to make do for hours with nothing and then are surprised when little precious doesn’t behave.

  41. legolex says:

    This post was dumb and somewhat insulting. Buuuut.. One place I’d add is Starbucks/Coffee Shop if you plan to “sit and sip” because your kids will not sit there and sip.

  42. Schildkrote says:

    I like how parents like to use “Oh, they OBVIOUSLY don’t have kids” as some sort of end-all and be-all retort for anything anyone says about what gigantic pains in the ass kids tend to be in public.

    Like, what exactly is that even supposed to mean? If you aren’t hopping on board to squeeze out some youngins, it’s your civic duty to deal with their crap until you too are contributing to global overpopulation? I know being a parent sucks, it’s pretty clear every time little Aydenn or Hayleeigh runs around shrieking in the doctor’s office.

    • PercussionQueen7 says:

      +1 for misspellings of asinine names

    • eddison72 says:

      It means, “Obviously you aren’t me”. It’s a typical selfish knee-jerk response from some smug parent who believes that it is your responsibility to make sacrifices for their genetic offspring. Listen to the wailing in these replies “Phil this is horrible” and “What a rotten article”. Yes, anything that suggests limits on how much they can impose themselves on everybody else is just downright naziism. There’s an easy solution to all of this: Either don’t have children, or else understand that you’re the one who is responsible for them – not everyone else!

    • lettucefactory says:

      Parents are way more likely to assume a temper tantrum is the result of a bad day, rather than jumping to the “chronic incompetence” conculsion. That’s why it matters.

      Look at it this way. Most people who have driven in their lives don’t see a car accident on the road and assume everyone involved is a total idiot who sets out to snarl up traffic and be an inconvenience. Because if you have a license or even are just a frequent passenger, you have likely seen firsthand just how easily an accident can happen even if you’re basically competent – someone stops short, there’s black ice on the road, whatever.

      If my kid is crying in the grocery store, and you hear it, you can decide that this is some metaphorical black ice. A bad parent-child moment. Or, you decide that I’m utterly incapable of parenthood AND that I have some sort of agenda about the reproductive choices of strangers AND that I have this weird desire to impose my child’s cries upon you. You have no idea – no goddamn idea – how embarrassed I am at that moment, because you’ve never had to live through it as anything but an inconvenienced observer.

      This is the difference between commentary from a parent and a non-parent – a little understanding for the predicament.

      And no, being a parent doesn’t “suck.” It has sucky moments, just like everything else in life, but it’s also a lot of fun. If you only ever notice the sucky moments because those are the ones when somebody is crying in public, of course you think it’s hell, but they’re a small fraction.

      • kobresia says:

        I think everyone understands kids have bad days. It’s life. We see you struggling and feel sympathy more than anything.

        But you can’t call it a lack of understanding when people complain because a parent is just dismissing the misbehavior in such a way as to make it everyone else’s problem. That’s what’s not okay, it’s rude and obnoxious, moreso on the part of the adult who should have half a clue about what acceptable behavior in public is, and should be taking responsibility for their offspring. It’s probably obvious when you’re embarassed and trying to calm a tantrum, but have you ever seen a parent who is chatting on the phone or with someone else, exhibiting purposeful obliviousness to the havoc their tots are wreaking?

        So just the other day, I was at Costco, and a tot runs at me full-speed and crashes into my legs. I saw it coming and at least was able to turn my cart away so the sprog didn’t crash into that and get hurt. There were a couple of women chatting with each other nearby, so I said, “Hey lady!” and gestured to the kid who was still kind of flopping on the floor at my feet. One of them shot me a dirty look, as is *I* was imposing on *her* by bringing her attention to the fact that her kid was crashing into me.

        So, am I “lacking in understanding” because I judged her to be not an incompetent parent, but a complete asshole to boot? I think this is the sort of situation that gets under most folks’ skins, Based on what you wrote here, I think maybe you didn’t have that sort of terrible parenting on your radar and think that people are annoyed even when you really do care and are doing your best to handle things, but there are parents who are so terrible and inconsiderate of everyone else that they really shouldn’t be allowed in public themselves, much less with their kids in tow.

  43. amyann2 says:

    By choice, I’m not a parent, and I don’t enjoy being around kids.

    BUT. But but but. You’re completely wrong about public libraries. Kids, including very young kids, need to learn to view libraries and books as positive, welcoming places. And it helps foster interest in reading if kids go and get to choose their own books, instead of having their parents bring them books home. The children’s sections these days often have computers especially for the little ones right there, with children-centric programs loaded onto them. Libraries are meant to be used, and librarians belong to everyone. Heck, the teen sections now have vending machines right in them, when before food wasn’t allowed anywhere near the books. Get with the new millennium!

    Also, not every parent can afford a babysitter every time they need to run errands. Yes, I expect parents to address their children’s behavior. But we can’t just hide all the kids away at home all the time.

    Honestly, if this was dated April 1 I would have assumed an April Fool’s joke, because it’s such a ridiculous post.

  44. Sengfall says:

    Insulting and stupid post. If YOU can’t deal with kids, then please remove yourself from society.

    • RayanneGraff says:

      Replace kids with “wild animals”. Repeat statement out loud & see if it still sounds reasonable. Wild animals are a nuisance to civilized society and so are misbehaving kids.

      • Sengfall says:

        It’s too bad kids are already a part of society while wild animals are not….I don’t see your point.

        Kids sometimes misbehave, that’s a fact. Now, wildly misbehaving kids are the parent’s fault, but there is a certain level of dealing with kids in society that you need to learn to just accept.

  45. jelloisyummy says:

    I wouldn’t mind leaving my children behind if someone wouldn’t mind bank rolling that babysitter I’m always going to need on hand.

  46. cynner says:

    The courthouse – bring your kids here and they will be bored out of their minds! If you *must* bring them, use the free onsite licensed childcare that most courthouses provide. Case information and court forms are usually available on the court’s website, so you might not need to go to the courthouse at all.

  47. Ilovegnomes says:

    How about parents just follow the rule, ‘If your child is melting down, remove them from the situation and deal with it.’

    My kids go to all the above mentioned places without incident because I follow my one rule. I also teach them how to behave in public instead of assuming that the world is my babysitter.

    • PercussionQueen7 says:

      Hear, hear! If you’re kid’s having a tantrum, show me that you’re TRYING to parent appropriately, and we’re fine. But if you’re chatting on the phone, Starbucks in hand, completely ignoring your child who is having a meltdown? PREPARE FOR GLARES OF DEATH. And to the parent, not the child!

  48. SamiJ says:

    The library? Sorry. I go to the library every single Saturday morning with my kids. If you don’t like it, then you can go M-F, or late Sat. If you need a quiet place to study, then stay the fark out of the children’s section. Just as you feel entitled to quiet reference section, I feel entitlted to a kid-friendly children’s section. You don’t like it? Go read at Starbucks.

  49. ndonahue says:

    This article makes me regret donating to Consumerist. Silly, Insensitive, and off-topic.

  50. HogwartsProfessor says:

    Oh my God, this article was hilarious. Yes, it’s can be extremely difficult dragging a little kid around with you and it’s not always convenient to leave them at home. But it’s nice she has a sense of humor about it.

  51. dks64 says:

    I read this article this morning and right now, I’m sitting in my doctor’s waiting room, surrounded by kids running around. One of the parents is just lazily calling for her child while she ignores her. Wish she had read the article.

  52. thomas_callahan says:

    Don’t take kids to the LIBRARY? What the hell? Isn’t that half of the point of most libraries?

    We were all children at one point, well most of us anyway. Yes they can be annoying but have a little tolerance!

    On the flip side, parents keep it reasonable, if your kid’s a lunatic then maybe this article’s right.

  53. Outrun1986 says:

    This is the worst, what if you have no other choice than to take your kid there? So kids are not allowed in public at all now. Also if your kid sits inside the house all day, they will not know how to behave in public, which will lead to problems later in life and probably worse behavior later on in life while in public. Its best to take them out when they are young, but to teach them how to behave in public when they are young so they don’t become a 12 year old screaming like a 3 year old for a toy in a toy store.

  54. NumberSix says:

    Dear Non-Parents:

    Suck it.

    – Parents.

    • eddison72 says:

      Dear parents:

      If you had taken that advice in place of intercourse we wouldn’t be in this predicament, would we?

      – Non parents

      PS: Unleash your kids in a restaurant near my table and see if I bite my tongue or if you go home in tears.

      • NumberSix says:

        Why do you assume all toddlers misbehave in public? Mine doesn’t. Don’t try to tell me where I can and can’t go in pubilc with my kid. Hence the “Suck it.” to all non parents. See, you don’t like it when i generalize either, do you?

  55. corridor7f says:

    I’m not kid-krazy by any stretch, but toddlers do exist that are well-behaved enough to take to these places – it’s the parent who has to be the objective judge.

    I loved the library – I’d hunker down in the kids section quietly and had to be dragged out when my mom said it was time to go.

  56. feetmonkey says:

    Wow you guys. RFM is a tongue-in-cheek blog. I’m a regular reader, and Phil’s summary and characterization of this article is really bad.

    I’m not going to try to explain it though. Read the source article for that.

  57. TravelWithDignity says:

    Expecting kids to be quiet IN THE CHILDREN’S SECTION is pretty daft. Take your snotty attitude to B&N or your own home’s reading room.

  58. bben says:

    Having raised my own gang of hoodlums and now working on grandkids. Don’t blame the kids. They are just being kids. Blame the part of society that accuses parents of abusing their kids when they are trying to discipline them. Usually those who have never had kids or who’s kids are the problem from lack of discipline. There is a huge difference between a paddling on a diaper padded butt and a beating that leaves both physical and mental scars. The former is a form of discipline, the latter is abuse.

    Forcing a kid to sit still can be considered abuse. They have a very short attention span and a lot – a whole lot – of energy. So take your pick, a kid playing on the chairs, or a kid screaming at the top of their lungs because they are being forced to sit still.

    My now 40 year old daughter tells me that the whipping she remembers is when I used a blade of grass to switch her legs for running out into the street when she was about 3. She never ran into the street again, and neither do any of her three children

    • RayanneGraff says:

      Agreed 100%. It’s ridiculous the things that are considered abuse nowadays. I remember when you had to actually abuse your kids to get in trouble. Now all you have to do is spank them or damage their “self-esteem”.

  59. dush says:

    Clearly this blogger wants you to lock your children in a cage whenever you need to leave the house.

  60. Sunrisecarole says:

    Boy that person will certainly never be considered for “Mommy of the Year” will she? She writes so LOVINGLY of her kids……NOT!

  61. wasabipeas says:

    Even if this post didn’t misrepresent the article it links to, #1 isn’t news and the rule has nothing to do with children misbehaving. Many doctors’ offices ask that adult patients not bring along children (unless another adult is accompanying the patient), and it’s a safety concern. Clinical and support staff of a medical office aren’t able to provide child care while the parent is undergoing examination (although I did hear about an ophthalmology practice that had child care in their waiting room — and they got the parents who can’t always line up a sitter to get their eyes checked). Don’t forget about exposure to germs or, if the parent has to receive a CT scan or X-ray, radiation. But this obviously doesn’t apply when the child is the patient.

  62. Harmoniousvibe says:

    I read the blog site an was appalled. All those kids need is some discipline. No means no. Be quiet means shut your mouth. Say it. Mean it. Parents don’t be afraid to punish your children for acting like little brats. They need to learn right off the bat. My son grew up knowing that there is a time and place for loud playing. This is not when we are out and about doing things. Parks, yards, at home, at a friends house. . . these are all places for having fun and playing. Business is business. When it is dinner time is a restaurant, sit down and eat. Manners are pushed right off the bat. Society’s kids today are rude, inconsiderate, self absorbed, little assholes. People are terrified to discipline their children. Either that or too lazy.

  63. Mrs. w/1 child says:

    Since the public library is now the creepy man jerking off to tranny porn on the computers all day hot spot, we already avoid it! Seriously, a good friend is the reference librarian at a really quaint neighborhood library branch that now employs a security guard and has increased costs for more frequent bathroom “clean up” since the free porn and free computers met.

    Your tax dollars at work Chicago!

  64. bubbledumpster says:

    i wish my picture hadn’t been used for this horrible terrible disgusting article. :(

  65. OldSchool says:

    As a greater public service, especially for the users of this site, I would recommend that Phil be prevented from posting anything further until it has been vetted by someone with at least an ounce of common sense.

    All of those with the possible exception of a Fine Dining Establishment are certainly places that it is perfectly reasoanble to take children of any age to. Perhaps some remedial training in family life would be appropriate.

  66. xanxer says:

    Most libraries these days have a children’s area. Some of the areas are designed to reduce noise.

  67. xanadustc says:

    Lets add Coffeeshops! I was at a Starbucks attempting to read a good book when this rabble of PoFDoA showed up (That is ‘Parents of Future Delinquents of America’ in case you are wondering). Their toddlers were running and screaming through the whole place like mad little creatures. And we all know that someone was run into by these kids and spilled coffee on them which would hurt, it would be the person that spilled the coffee holding the fault.

    Keep kids under control in the coffee shop…or better, get in your adult time without them. I have not been back to a Starbucks since (corp does not have a policy to correct children running mad throughout the store).

  68. Ayla says:

    Is this a sick joke? Seriously?

    Shame on you Consumerist!

    Children are part of our world, society and LIVES. Just because the modern ideas of child care and baby sitters has SHAMED parents into keeping their children out of site does NOT make it right.

    1. Children will NOT learn how to behave if never given the opportunity to practice in public situations.

    2. We all use to be children and children have as much right to be in public space as adults do. How did you learn to sit still at the Doctor’s office? Why aren’t 30 year-olds running around? Because our parents took us there when we were little and we LEARNED how to behave in society.

    Instead of complaining about where you think children shouldn’t be why don’t we as a society improve our public spaces so that children are more welcome?

    As a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, I take my three children (8,5 and 2) just about everywhere I go, and you know what? With a few exceptions they are REALLY well behaved because they are use to being in those spaces. My family and I get compliments all day long when we are out about how well behaved our children are.

    Those little ones “going crazy” are probably kids use to being cooped up in daycare centers and public schools where they ONLY ever interact with children their own age and never have any time to interact with adults. Hence when they are unleashed upon the public they have no real skills for dealing with it.

    Be part of the solution. Interact with these children. Distract them, encourage them to talk to you, play games with them and help them develop their social skills. We are all responsible for the next generation.

  69. piayaz says:

    It sounds like she needs to gain some control over her children. If they are having meltdowns everywhere and every time she takes them out, then maybe there are some other issues here. Most good mothers can anticipate when a child is going to have issues. Taking your kid out when he/she is tired, hungry, or both, is a recipe for disaster. Just because her kids are ill mannered doesn’t mean everyone else has the same problem.

  70. giax says:

    1. Airplanes
    2. Restaurant and all fun establishments + pubs
    3. Book stores and libraries
    4. Any place where people don’t like to hear screaming
    5. Any place where small things running around could cause havoc, except maybe dog park