There’s nothing like the full confession of a few former employees who have a bone to pick with the common customer. In this case, it’s some Borders workers, who have taken to a ginormous piece of paper to list, in detail, their biggest peeves with shoppers.

In a letter posted on HappyPlace.com, the supposed store employees give a rundown of what they always hated and were never allowed to say during their time working at the now (basically) defunct Borders chain. We’ve picked out a few gems below for your reading pleasure.

“Things we never told you: Ode to a bookstore Death”

• We hate when a book becomes popular simply because it was turned into a movie.

• We greatly dislike the phrase “Quick Question.” It’s never true. And everyone seems to have one.

• We always knew when you were intently reading Better Homes And Gardens, it was really a hidden Playboy.

• It NEVER bothered us when you threatened to shop at Barnes & Noble. We’d rather you do if you’re putting up a stink.

• “I was just here last week and saw this book there” meant nothing to us. The store changed once a week.

• Oprah was not the “final say” on what is awesome. We really didn’t care what was on her show or what her latest book club book was. Really.

Remember the above the next time you’re tempted to ask, “So there was this red book I wanted that was over that a month ago, where is it?”

Farewell note reveals what Borders employees really think of Borders customers [Happy Place]

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