If you ever wonder why Internet service provider monopolies are a bad thing, just ask reader Icanhas. For some mysterious and intriguing reason involving pineapples, he can’t have cable. So his only option for broadband Internet is Verizon DSL, which isn’t accepting new customers in his area. Why? Well, they’re putting all of their resources toward FiOS. When will FiOS be available in Icanhas’s area? Not anytime soon.

I’ve recently moved, and when attempting to get high speed internet setup I found out that I was left with only one choice, Verizon. (there is a long story about cable companies and billionaire pineapples that have prevented the cable company from being allowed to entertain me) As annoyed by that as I was, it only got worse when I called Verizon and was told that I could not have internet service. I asked how that could be, particularly when the owner had left his modem stuck on the wall for me, and all the neighbors had Verizon as well.

After a few minutes of stunned silence, I asked again and was told that they were closed for new internet connections, they were at capacity and not only did they not know when Verizon would make any available, they probably wouldn’t because they were pushing everything FIOS (she had no idea when FIOS would be in my area).

Some of your readers will say “move out of the sticks”, but I live in a city of over 150,000 people. I’m trying the 3g access points, but reception is pretty spotty (it’s that damn southern california goegraphy again) and I have yet to find a good place to put the little box.

So here I am with absolutely no choice in services, and the de facto monopoly won’t even let me have the access that the previous owner had.

Help, any thoughts on what I can do?

Well, we would really like hear that story about billionaire pineapples. …. Oh. The problem at hand? We’d suggest filing complaints with the Federal Communications Commission and the California Public Utility Commission. Verizon has also proven responsive to executive e-mail carpet bombs in the past.

Any other suggestions? Have you been through something similar? Help Icanhas, and maybe then he’ll explain to us what the pineapple thing is all about.

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