Macy's Santa Gets Saucy, Ends Up On Unemployment Line

After two decades of listening to the wish lists of kids of all ages at the Union Square Macy’s in San Francisco, Santa Claus is out on his jolly old ass. And it’s all over a joke he claims he’s told thousands of times before.

Santa says that he was by-the-book when it came to the little kids that sat on his lap, but when adult visitors to Macy’s would perch on his lap, he had a special shtick worked out for them.

“When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they’ve been good and they say, ‘Yes,’ I say, ‘Gee, that’s too bad,’ ” Recalled Kris Kringle to the San Francisco Chronicle. “Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it’s because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live.”

The gag apparently didn’t go over well with an older couple who grinched Santa to the powers that be at Macy’s. And now he’s just another old dude with a beard hanging around San Francisco.

“I’ve got my Social Security and some savings, so I’ll be OK,” he said. “But I sure do miss being Santa.”

Meanwhile, employees at that store tell the Chronicle that the lack of this particular Santa has put a crimp in customers’ holiday hijinks.

“People make a pilgrimage to see him every year, some for as long as 15 years,” said one worker. “Everyone loves him. Everybody’s just heartsick about this.”

“He’s totally the best Santa ever, very jolly and very authentic,” said a disappointed shopper. “I’ve been coming to see him for years. There’s just nobody better.”

A rep for Macy’s, where Santa used to give away houses to little kids who believed in him (at least in the movies) said the store cannot comment because the matter involves personnel.

‘Naughty’ joke gets Santa Claus fired from Macy’s []

Thanks to MC for the tip!