Gorilla Coffee, closed for 16 days after its entire staff quit simultaneously, has reopened, to decidedly decaf customer response.

There were just three patrons when I visited this morning at 8:35, a time when it wouldn’t be uncommon for the line to be out the door. An all-new staff worked behind the counter. I don’t know if I was just looking for faults but my large coffee, which normally makes me feel like I could rip apart the fabric of reality with my bare hands, only rated a “market perform.” We may never know what horrible injustices the old barristas suffered at the hands of their fascist bean barons, but maybe it takes a little mean to make a mean cup of coffee.

PREVIOUSLY: Entire Coffee Shop Staff Quits Simultaneously
RELATED: GORILLA RETURNS; PARK SLOPE GETS CAFFEINATED [The Brooklyn Ink]

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