On Valentine’s Day, we are expected to show loved ones how much they mean to us by giving them dead plants. For extra style points, we pay strangers to bring these dead plants to the recipient for us. However, on designated flower-giving holidays, the extra demand means that florists can really screw up. Here is this year’s crop of Valentine’s Day flower failures from the Consumerist Garden of Discontent.

David kicked off the festivities on the 13th, with an “abundant bouquet” of red roses from 1-800-FLOWERS. He writes:

I ordered these for $50 from 1-800-flowers:

And what did I get? See the attached pictures.

A wilted bundle of midget roses that aren’t even bloomed, looking half-dead and the buds aren’t even the size of my thumb. I think the delivery guy was ashamed or something as well. He didn’t knock or ring the doorbell; He just left the box at the door…and when I found it there, I thought the box was awful small…turns out I was right. And to top it off, they really crammed them in there too. The whole bundle was bound tightly with a plastic tube and a tie-strap.

I could have spent 1/3 of the price at Wal-Mart for much nicer and larger roses that are actually bloomed.

Jim, meanwhile, writes that he carefully chose a bouquet with flowers that had special meaning to his friend, and then FTD just went ahead and threw a bunch of random stuff in a different vase.

I ordered flowers for my friend today and decided to have them shipped on V-day party because I wasn’t going to see her today as we were both busy, and partly because it was no cheaper to ship them today than Saturday (like maybe 2 bucks.)

Well she got them and she was happy but something seemed off from her description of them. I said how did you like the Stargazer lilies (as she is getting Stargazers tattooed on her) when she said there were none.

[On the left] is what I ordered. This mostly green monstrosity with a freaking sunflower is what she got.

Not even the same vase. In fact the only thing they got right was the roses. I understand substitutions sometimes are needed, but when the centerpiece of the thing is Stargazers, and I ordered it weeks in advance, the least they could have done is let me know they cant get the flowers, not to mention they had 3 weeks to GET the flowers to the floral shop they were using.

Needless to say I am pissed and demanding answers but have yet to hear back from them.

He sent an update after another attempt on Tuesday:

After finally getting into contact with a human at FTD, they redelivered the flowers, except again they are barely what was asked for, Stargazers with roses this time but mostly green, missing the vase (ok i get it you didnt have it) and the flowers are either not even close to being open, or bruised and near death.

at least they got the right flowers, but needless to say still not satisfied. Going to call them again and see whats going on that they keep sending near dead flowers.

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