A couple years ago, we wrote about the excellent customer service the Washington Nationals provided to a fan who was unable to get a hot dog. We’re sad to say that such responsiveness and concern do not extend north to Baltimore’s Camden Yards, where we suffered our own tale of hot dog woe this past weekend.

We went up to Baltimore to watch our Red Sox play the Orioles. We prefer Camden Yards to the overpriced Nationals Stadium in DC, and we usually go up to Baltimore a couple times each season. On Friday and Saturday we purchased Super Dogs, a gigantic and delicious hot dog that could could only be better if the concession stand provided onions. As far as ballpark hot dogs go, these were tops.

When we went to Sunday’s game, we purchased a Super Dog. The foil wrapper was kind of crumbled, but we thought nothing of it until we opened it up to dress it. It was a very sad hot dog. Look at this thing:



Whereas the previous days’ Super Dogs were moist and plump, this was withered and pathetic, like one of those forgotten franks rotating alone at a 7-Eleven. We’d say there was a pretty good chance that this was a hot dog from the previous day that had sat around somewhere overnight. We tried to bring it back to life with lots of ketchup and mustard, but our efforts were in vain.

We foolishly took a bite of the dog, hoping that the inside was somehow still good. It wasn’t.

Fortunately, a sign near our seats informed us that if we needed assistance, we could text “Orioles Issue Location” to a number and someone from the Orioles would respond. So we did:

Portending the failure that was ahead, it took eight minutes for the Orioles’s bot to even get back to us:



We wrapped the dog up and stuck it under our seat, waiting for help to arrive. No one came. After a few hours, we reminded them that we were still waiting for assistance:

But no one ever responded, and we watched the Sox sweep the O’s on an empty stomach. We probably should have just returned it, but we didn’t want to lose the proof in case someone from the Orioles actually showed up with a substitute dog. Like some other parks, Camden Yards lets fans take outside food and drink into the stadium. We like ballpark hot dogs, but we’ll be bringing our own snacks from now on.

(Photo: coneslayer)

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