Attention: A satisfied Comcast customer has written to this website. Sadly, reader Kevin is now being denied the delicious shivery pleasure of Comcast’s services — because his new house is 600′ too far away.

Here’s the letter he wrote to Comcast’s executive customer service team after being denied cable:

Comcast Cares team,

I’ve been mulling the answer I was given to my no-cable dilemma. The woman who called me to tell me the address is not serviceable was nice and polite, but did give some confoundingly interesting facts.

The cable is “over a mile away” across “6 utility poles”… which I know are not spaced 900 feet apart. The cable is actually 600-700 feet away according to google maps street view and the actual distance to the neighbor that has cable. Unless I misheard something, there has to be another reason Comcast will service my neighbor but not me.

The house was built in 1940s so there have been plenty of chances to run cable to it. The house 3 poles down and ~600-700 feet away gets cable. This neighbor with cable is [redacted]. If you look at google maps street view you can see where the cable stops and exactly how many poles away my house is at [redacted] (it’s the white/blue one with all the cars in front).

I’ve been made to believe that Comcast will hook someone up if they are under 250 feet away – In fact there are multiple success stories on the Internet where Comcast and other cable companies have hooked up users even though they were much, much farther away from the cable than 250 feet. The other 350-450 feet in the grand scheme of things is not a ridiculously long distance, especially when considering the poles are already there and the house is right up on the street next to one of these poles. It’s not like I’m asking Comcast to dig a ditch and bury a wire for a house located a mile away in the middle of a forest. I absolutely do not want 1.5mbps “broadband” DSL which is why I am trying to get Comcast to give me a good reason why I can’t have cable or to hook me up (I’m more than willing to sign a long term contract for my service.) It’s a shame because I really do enjoy my cable service here in Florida and am not looking forward to being without it. Please Comcast, let me know if you change your mind.

Poor Kevin. He does so love you, Comcast. Can’t you make his dream a reality? Or at least let him down easy…

(Photo:happy*cherry)

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