When some lowlife tried to scam Andy the other day through his friend’s hijacked Gmail account, Andy tried to get him to use PayPal, and he came up with a great reason why. “It’s the fastest way to send money,” Andy told the scammer. “Once I deposit the funds, you can print it out of any color printer and it’s real money!” Another reader was so amused by it that she decided to use it on her own Facebook scammer earlier today.

Liz writes,

I just read your article today (https://consumerist.com/5260397/nigerian-scammers-break-into-your-gmail-ask-your-friends-for-money) and was very amused.

Then, I’m on facebook tonight, and a girl I am friends with from High School, who I haven’t actually talked to in years, IM’s me. Very surprising.

FakeKate hey there
FakeKate how are you

Liz hi! doing good. :-):-)

FakeKate i’m in some kind of deep shit right now

Liz oh?

FakeKate i’m stranded in london

Liz oh really.

FakeKate got mugged at gun point last night

Liz that’s terrible! how can I help?

FakeKate all cash,credit card and phone was stolen
FakeKate my return flight leaves in few hours but having troubles sorting out the hotel bills
FakeKate wondering if you could loan me some few $$ to sort out the hotel bills and also take a cab to the airport

Liz well, first, call the american embassy. their number in london is 0-11-44-207-894-0007
Liz they will loan money to americans.

FakeKate yes, i have talked to the consulate over the phone but its taking them time and process to get me help

Liz well, they have a 24-7 number here in the US 202-324-3000. you can even call collect! isn’t that super convenient?
Liz so what are you doing in london?

FakeKate well i had to visit a resort in london on vacation and i was robbed at the park close to the hotel where i lodged

Liz oh, what hotel?
Liz i can look it up on trip advisor and write a bad review since apparently it’s in an area where people are getting robbed!

FakeKate D-Next Hotel

Liz hmm, I’m not familiar with that hotel.
Liz Well, how can I help????

FakeKate my return flight leaves in few hours but having troubles sorting out the hotel bills
FakeKate wondering if you could loan me some few $$ to sort out the hotel bills and also take a cab to the airport

Liz Do you want me to wire you a lot of cash?

FakeKate well all i need to get on a plane back home now is $900

Liz Well, that is all? I was thinking you’d need more money to get back to the US!
Liz What airport are you flying out of?

FakeKate Heathrow

Liz And where are you flying to?
Liz What flight are you on?
Liz I’m sure my mom can come get you at the airport after all you’ve been through!

FakeKate Chicago O’Hare International Airport

Liz Not Midway?
Liz That’s a lot closer to your house!
Liz Well gosh, let’s not nitpick. Let’s get you home safely!

FakeKate how long can you get the money wire?

Liz what about paypal?
Liz or sendmoneysuperfast.com?

FakeKate you can send it via western union directly to my name as i receive the few i have on me right now, you can even do it online at :westernunion.com
FakeKate ??

Liz oh?
Liz what about paypal?

FakeKate no

Liz that is the fastest way to send money
Liz once I deposit the funds, you can print it out of any color printer and its real money!

FakeKate you can send it via western union directly to my name as i receive the few i have on me right now, you can even do it online at http://www.westernunion.com

Liz hmm, I really think paypal is better!
Liz they even have fraud protection.

FakeKate Kate [redacted]
FakeKate 81 Kentish Town Road, London, NW1 9QB United Kingdom.
FakeKate that’s the details you need

Liz isn’t that the Alsham Restaurant??
Liz Why are you at a restaurant if you need to catch a plane?
Liz I’m so confused! Help me Kate!
Liz Are you there?
Liz How much money do you need?
Liz I should call your husband, right?
Liz You’re not cheating on him are you?????
Liz He works for the government, so I know he’d be upset and know how to find you!
Liz While you’re waiting, here’s a really interesting article I recommend: https://consumerist.com/5260397/nigerian-scammers-break-into-your-gmail-ask-your-friends-for-money
Liz Now excuse me, I have some FBI contacts that I need to email about how you’ve broken into FakeKate‘s account.

FakeKate is no longer online. The following was not sent:

Liz Thanks for giving me the address, now they can find you more easily.

We think everyone should try to talk scammers into using PayPal with that pitch:

PayPal – Once I deposit the funds, you can print it out of any color printer and it’s real money!

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