We’re warning you now, so that you won’t bother to fall for the “you-gotta-see-this!” absurdity of an 85-year-old former talk show announcer and sweepstakes pitchman reduced to self-mockery in order to make some money. We don’t begrudge McMahon his career, but as you know we deeply begrudge “free”creditreport.com for its misleading name, commercials, promises—well, pretty much everything.

Here, courtesy of CNN, are the lyrics to the rap:

“When I retired, I was famous,” McMahon raps in the video. “I had money and glory/I bought a house for 6 mill/I thought nothing could touch me/Until my credit went south, and debt started to crunch me/Next thing I know, instead of playing gin rummy, I was scrambling just to make ends meet/It wasn’t funny.”

After being joined by two scantily clad women, McMahon continues: “Got a bump from the media chumps, but that was temporary/Wife with bad credit was scary, so I got wise/I may have fallen, but I got back up/Now I’m back on the attack, like a ninja swinging nunchucks/I told the haters, ‘Go on, take a hike’/It’s my show now, and I can do what I like.”

It will be released, presumably on sites like YouTube, in October. Watch it if you must, but remember: freecreditreport.com is a rip-off. If you want a free credit report, use annualcreditreport.com.

“Ed McMahon turns gangsta rapper” [CNN] (Thanks to Bryan!)

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