Why Are The Employees At This Store So Sad?

Jean writes:

I was browsing in a local shopping center today and I came across the greatest tee shirt hung on display outside their door. My husband started turning it over looking for a price tag and I almost fell over laughing when he uncovered the treasure it had buried.


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  1. Silversmok3 says:

    The beatings are done to provide better customer service !

  2. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    After all is said and done, it’s kind of ironic that this is the way we treat people from whom we want something. Businesses abusing customers and employees, customers and employees abusing each other…

  3. etoilegyrl says:

    @behemeth: Seconded.

    I kinda want that shirt now. What store was this?

  4. Apoch says:

    @behemeth: @Nigma: What do you have against Depeche Mode?

  5. JuggaloBo says:

    In Portland, OR they have a pirate themed store that this is available at.

  6. astrochimp says:

    @thisisatrashcan: Have you read the etymology section (hint: 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence)?

  7. astrochimp says:

    (On second thought: I suppose you may have already. But, if so, why the need to hassle Apoch?)

  8. azntg says:

    Had a good laugh!

  9. JeannieGrrl says:

    That was here in Saint John NB Canada. And yes, my husband bought it for me ;) Thanks for posting Chris!

  10. ClankBoomSteam says:


    There are people who haven’t seen this shirt (or a variation on it) a thousand times by now, in one of the gazillion stores you can find it in, especially in tourist and/or college towns?

    There are people who would see this shirt for the first time and refer to it as “the greatest tee shirt”?

    Okay, really: what are these people doing with their lives that leaves them that out-of-touch? I get that it’s mildly amusing that the shirt was obscuring the “now hiring” sign, but come on. I had a button with this slogan on it in the 1980s, for crying out loud.

  11. kerry says:

    @ClankBoomSteam: What are you doing with your life that you have time to track this shirt everywhere it appears? I know I’ve seen the slogan before, but I can’t say I’ve ever seen a t-shirt with it, so it’s not hard to believe other people haven’t, either. Some people don’t pay much attention to t-shirt stands. *shrug*

  12. JeannieGrrl says:

    @ClankBoomSteam: sorry, SJ is a little backwoods, we don’t have all that new fangled stuff the rest of y’all get to enjoy :-D

  13. darksunfox says:

    KMFDM needs to bring back Tim Skold, they need a better guitarist…

    …and I need to get one of those shirts and wear it next time I get called in to work on a Saturday.

  14. TorrentFreak says:


  15. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    Funny, isn’t it, that we think this joke is so hilarious when we think of applying it in the workplace, but we think it’s so dead serious when we apply it to punishing children in order to attempt to force them to be virtuous and cheerful.

    And if you disagree, especially if you hit your children, don’t replying with “I was spanked and I turned out OK.” We know exactly how you turned out. You turned out to be someone who passionately and unthinkingly defends the privilege of adults to hit children.

  16. zjgz says:

    Haha, i didn’t know anyone but me listened to KMFDM

  17. A similar sign hangs at my auto shop –

    “The beatings will stop when the morale picks up around here!”

    @ClankBoomSteam: Oh, SNAP.

  18. zjgz says:

    @darksunfox: I personally think they should get lucia out of the band. i don’t like her that much

  19. bubbledumpster says:

    @ClankBoomSteam You took the words out of my fingers.

  20. SacraBos says:

    @speedwell: Actually, pain is a powerful teacher. A cat will only sit on a hot stove once. Of course, it will never sit on a cold one, either.

    This reminds me of Flash Gordon, when Ming had a banner flying behind his wedding party reading “All guests will make merry… Under pain of death”.

  21. Teapotfox says:

    Re: KMFDM
    If I wanted to have babies, I would want to have Käpt’n K’s babies.

    Just saying.

  22. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    @SacraBos: So how well does pain help you learn? Do you allow you boss to hit you every time you make a mistake on the job? Do you ask your spouse to hit you if you don’t pick up after yourself at home? Can the policeman hit you for being disprespectful?

    Maybe I should work it into my corporate training classes.

  23. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    @speedwell: Oops, I mistyped some words. Who’s the one in charge of educational hitting around here?

  24. Nick1693 says:

    @Silversmok3: Does that work for Comcast/Sprint?

  25. JeannieGrrl says:

    @speedwell: well, I don’t beat my kids, and I was beaten as a kid, but I still think that the sign and the shirt together are amusing.

  26. CyberSkull says:

    I had the RenFair version of the shirt, “The floggings will continue until moral improves”. My boss at Sun where I was subcontracting at the time didn’t think it was appropriate for work.

  27. leftystrat says:

    or, as we say where I work,

    “The MEETINGS will continue until morale improves.”

  28. EdnaLegume says:

    I just bought that same shirt at the beach this week. Stocked among other shirts with (*air quotes) clever phrases on them.

    It’s my motto as a mom.

  29. EdnaLegume says:

    oop, mine says flogging too.

  30. Brazell says:

    @ClankBoomSteam: Some of us do not put much consideration into t-shirt slogans. I’m sure that there are dozens of things that anybody could come up with on a regular basis that are old and tired for them, but may seem new and interesting to you. I’d wager that the overwhelming majority of people in the world do not spend all that much time thinking about popular slogans on pins, bumper stickers, and t-shirts.

  31. Impius says:

    Hrm…. Never thought I’d see a KMFDM reference on Consumerist… Not that I’m complaining in the least. :D Now I must go find this shirt in the pirate store that @JuggaloBo: mentioned…

  32. ClankBoomSteam says:

    @kerry: @JeannieGrrl: @MichaelBrazell:

    It’s not that I spend an inordinate amount of time pondering t-shirt slogans or whatever, it’s just old, that’s all. It’s ubiquitous. I have probably seen some variation on that design in every gift shop I’ve set foot in fr the last 20 years. Sorry if I can recall doing so, but that doesn’t mean I have my finger on the pulse of the novelty t-shirt world. It means I’ve been in an average number of gift shops over the last couple of decades, and this one is right up there with “You Want It WHEN?” or “I’m With Stupid”. If it’s something you enjoy, good on ya. More power to you. I’m just amazed that someone would find it novel, that’s all.