When Lara placed a self-portrait taken at age fourteen on deviantART, she never expected it to be stolen by TVX Films and placed on the cover of the DVD porno “Body Magic.” Lara asked the President of TVX Films to remove her photo and compensate her for the theft. He responded with the following email:

I’M SURE BY THE END OF THE MONTH YOUR FACE WILL BE HISTORY. WE HAVE STOPPED SELLING THE DVD UNTIL COVER IS REPLACED. WE HAVE FURTHER CHECKED OUT YOUR NAME AND ITS NOT LIKE IT’S A HOUSE WHOLE NAME. ACTUALLY, REMOVING YOUR IMAGE WILL HELP IMPROVE THE SELL OF THE DVD….. SO FAR IT BOMBED.

THEY ARE REMAKING THE COVER AS WE SPEAK SO YOUR TEN SECONDS OF FAME WILL SOON COME TO AN END.

AS FOR COMPSENSATION;YOUR SILLY!

We can’t help but appreciate the juxtaposition of our beloved semicolon and the wrong form of “you’re.” These pornographers, who make their business by slapping new covers on old DVDs, are clearly classy with a “K.”

Lara, now seventeen, needs a lawyer. Oddly, nobody is willing to take her case. Come on Verizon, lend Lara one of your blood-sucking lawyers; they could have this straightened out in an hour. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

(HELP) TVX Films situation (still not resolved) [deviantART]
(Photo: Lara Jade.)

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