Remix Of Worst Banking Video Resume Ever

Loop this on your video iPod during your morning power runs, or power lifting, or power whoopy-making. Cool points added for not using “Eye Of The Tiger.”

Vayner should be able to leverage all this media attention into a buyout of a small hidy-hole below the Mason-Dixon line.

Previously: Aleksey Vayner’s Failed Investment Banking Video Resume


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  1. acutusnothus says:

    I’d hire him. A guy with this much dexterity and energy would be hell on wheels with a mop and bucket. And a broom. And a featherduster. And a bottle of Windex.

  2. The Bans says:

    What a super tool.

  3. Chairman-Meow says:

    I know that someday while going through the McDonald’s drive-thru in New Jersey, I will hear the disembodied voice of Vayner asking me:

    “Do you want to sucesssfully supersize that”?

  4. You got me. I finally caved and watched the video. Gawker tempted me, but Consumerist did it.

    In this day and age, I can’t believe how easily people set themselves up for public humiliation.

  5. I cannot believe I’m taking this video seriously enough to comment (and yes, you tempted me into watching it too with the remix!), but:

    A) If you do not know how to appropriately lift weights and are so incapable of adequately isolating muscles that you’re using your GROIN to help bench press, DON’T PUT IT ON A VIDEO;

    B) If you’re going to go to this much trouble to make a video resume, spend the bucks to hire a voice coach for one session. It isn’t his accent (that’s just a lovely background lilt); it’s that irritating back-of-the-throat voice that every frat-boy in America seems to use. It’s hard to understand and unpleasant to listen to.

    In law school they even sent us a voice coach so we could learn to be less-irritating to listen to in court. This guy SO would have flunked that. His vocal presentation is entirely non-compelling.

    Okay, enough random beating on someone who has taken enough internet beating-on to last the rest of his life. The voice thing just irritated me!

  6. MosH8ed says:

    I was really expecting to see a graphic for Valtrex, or some other herpes medication at the end of that clip. Perhaps even a voiceover saying something like, “Helping douche bags with herpes live perfectly normal lives, while working out.” LOL!

  7. Jesse in Japan says:

    The Chinese characters at the end mean “honor.” I really like the way, when “he” finally breaks those bricks with his kung fu techniques, the camera conveniently doesn’t show his face.