Is that doofus hipster turd playing the barista giving you the evil eye over the Starbucks counter as you make your ghetto latte? Has he actually had the nerve to wander over to you and icily inform you that the milk at the condiment bar is not meant to help offset an extra dollar surcharge levied by his corporate masters on your coffee flavored drink?

First, karate chop him in the throat. Then, remind him that Starbucks HQ has explicitly condoned the ghetto latte:

Customization is a fundamental attribute of the Starbucks Experience. We provide condiments to our customers so they can make their drinks to their liking and we appreciate their patronage. We trust our customers to make the choices that are right for them.

Of course, on the very same day they condone the practice, they raised coffee prices by a nickel. We recommend taking a few gulps of half-and-half straight from the carafe to get even.

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