Jump Lines At Verizon Stores

A great hack for dealing with the interminable queues at Verizon Wireless stores.

“Let’s say my cell phone has mysteriously stopped displaying numbers on the screen. The first thing I do is to feed my four year-old son and two year-old daughter cookies for breakfast. Then, when my wife is not watching, we play a quick game I like to call “Who Can Drink Daddy’s Coffee?”…

After unleashing the heathens in store to disassemble store signs and bang on all the cell phone models, he mysteriously finds himself bumped up from 19 to first in line. Once there…

The customer service agent eyes me warily and says, “I think your son is peeing in our fake plants.”

I shrug. “Unfortunately, my wife and I cannot guarantee parental coverage in all areas. Please try again later.”

It’s Pronounced Nah-No-Bite” [Grim Richard’s Irregulars]