Helium Shortage Makes Clowns Cry on the Inside

Pity the clowning industry. Thanks to a global helium shortage, helium balloons, mainstay of spoiled children’s birthday parties, will be hard to come by in coming weeks.

And not just clowns. Goodyear blimps and squeaky-voiced pranksters are shit out of luck, with no alternative on the horizon.

“When people see balloons they know that’s where the party is.” So true. But will people know where the party is, if there are no ballooons? Transitive logic be damned!

Helium shortage could deflate some fall parties [Columbus Dispatch]


Edit Your Comment

  1. i have nothing relevant or illuminating to say about this story.

    i just really like that picture.

  2. homerjay says:

    In case you didn’t know, A balloon tied to a mailbox is the international symbol for “Party over here, y’all!!”

  3. DeeJayQueue says:

    Hydrogen, on the other hand, is even lighter than Helium, and currently in surplus. What could possibly go wrong?

  4. Triteon says:

    I hope this doesn’t effect the nation’s Strategic Helium Reserve…our dirigible fleet would be utterly useless!

  5. GenXCub says:

    Our ability to sound like Chip and Dale will greatly diminish, as will our place in the world.

  6. Keira says:

    The picture of the clown thinking about Doing the Dutch is even more apropos than it appears at first glance, since committing suicide by helium is supposedly one of the better ways to go about ending one’s own life.

    (I will allow the Depressed or Morbidly Curious among you to search for the online references to this act yourself, rather than providing a link.)

    On that note, however, I wonder whether the current shortage has anything to do with people stockpiling the gas for future suicidal usage, as they contemplate Bush invading Iran?