In a move that absolutely will not backfire and result in viral videos of terrifying clowns menacing the customers of their local fast food franchises, Burger King has come up with the brilliant idea of offering free food to customers who slather on the clown greasepaint this Halloween. [More]
clowns
Burger King Definitely Won’t Regret Offering Free Food To Customers Who Dress Up Like Clowns
By 10.25.17
Gang Of Ronald McDonald Clowns Storms Burger King, Taunting Workers
By 10.5.17
If the idea of a group of clowns descending en masse on a restaurant sounds terrifies you down to your bones, you may not want to keep reading: A gang of people dressed as Ronald McDonald recently stormed a Welsh Burger King for a bit of good-natured ribbing. [More]
Clowns Claim “It” Has Cut Into Business
By 9.13.17
Movies and television shows can increase the recognition of otherwise undervalued or appreciated business, industries, or hobbies. However, in the case of the new film It, clowns around the country say they’re losing business. [More]
Alamo Drafthouse Hosting Your Next Nightmare With Clowns-Only Screening Of ‘It’
By 8.24.17
If you’re afraid of clowns, you’ll want to stay very far away from the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin on Saturday, Sept. 9 — or wear your favorite waterproof pants — because that’s the night the theater is hosting a clowns-only screening of the new It movie. [More]
Owner Of Terrifying Clown Motel Getting Out Of The Terrifying Clown Motel Business
By 7.25.17
Unless your subconscious has buried this memory among other real life nightmares, you may recall the story about the creepy Clown Motel in Nevada filled to the brim with leering, smiling painted faces — and located next to a cemetery filled with gold miners who died from the plague who are bound to be grumpy ghosts (when they aren’t hiding from the clowns). Anyway, good news! It’s up for sale. [More]
Target Removes Scary Clown Masks From Stores And Website
By 10.17.16 — Updated: 10.19.16
One casualty of the current series of clown scares and hoaxes across the country has been Ronald McDonald, who McDonald’s sent on vacation while there’s a nationwide rash of suspicious incidents involving people dressed as clowns. Now Target has decided that it doesn’t want to be a supplier to aspiring creepy clowns, and is pulling clown masks from stores and from its website. [More]
McDonald’s Gives Ronald McDonald Some Time Off Amid Creepy Clown Sightings
By 10.11.16
For some inexplicable reason, you can’t go online or turn on the local news without seeing some bizarre story about creepy clowns menacing the streets (and sewers) of America. But until this all blows over, there’s one ghoulishly grinned clown you won’t be seeing that much of: Ronald McDonald.
[More]
Childhood Nightmare Comes To Life As Clown Attacks Customer In Taco Bell Drive-Thru
By 10.30.13
Like something out a horrible dream from which you wake up drenched in sweat, screaming, a couple in Washington state were the victims of a clown attack while getting their food from a Taco Bell drive-thru. [More]
Best Buy Canada: Still A Bunch Of Bozos
By 10.20.06
Up in Canuckville, Best Buy is an amazing institution. No, we’re just kidding: crossing the border does not actually take you to another dimension. It’s still one of the worst companies in the world.
Helium Shortage Makes Clowns Cry on the Inside
By 9.22.06
Pity the clowning industry. Thanks to a global helium shortage, helium balloons, mainstay of spoiled children’s birthday parties, will be hard to come by in coming weeks.
