Does The Consumerist Douche?

No stranger to irony and hypocrisy–we’re not sure whether the combo serves as our grist or our mill, a potentially ironic paradox in and of itself–one reader pointed out that in our recent post, “Why Marketers are Douchebags,” we forgot to bag one douche in particular: ourselves.

We’re probably going to get in trouble for this but the voice of the reader is not to be suppressed. The freedom of the press may be a commodity growing scarcer with each of Bush’s successive steps down his carpeted halls and sagebrush trails, but far be it for us to add our hand to the gangbang pile clamping over the mouth of the everyday American citizen mule-tilling his 40 acres of fields of diamonds in the morning and checking into the Gawker media empire at lunch break.

Lincoln would totally kick our ass and he was a tall man.

So then, you, dear reader, have helped us stare into the void of marketing douchebags, and with horror and shock we find our own gimlet eyes starting back on the wings of a mirrored feminine hygiene product… after… the… jump…

Steve writes:

    “OK, I do like – businesses deserve a flick on the earlobe (or worse) when they do stupid stuff and tick customers off. Good. But I have to ask, what is with the “marketer douchebag” thing? Sounds a little generalized and strident to me, particularly when you look at those little boxes down the right side of the Gawker websites. Marketer douchebags? This from someone whose paycheck is, presumably, funded by them?

    But the bizzahhh part comes when you read the Gawker media kit –

    “It’s only recently, however, that the audience and influence of weblogs have become accessible to marketers. Gawker Media, an independent media company with a stable of titles in over a dozen categories, takes the weblog content formula and applies the business model of a traditional consumer magazine. Gawker itself, and other group titles such as Wonkette, display the brevity, attitude, and interactivity of the new format. It is this that has attracted such a young and influential audience. However, we also believe in traditional publishing values such as reliable publishing schedules, professional design, and a respect for the marketers whose sponsorship makes media viable.”

    Waaait a minute…that sounds like marketing!

    Just sayin,
    Steve (part of the young and influential gawker audience and, not surprisingly, a marketer douchebag)”



Edit Your Comment

  1. Joel Johnson says:

    Oh, god, this one is easy. Gawker has our own marketing douchebag in the form of an ad sales guy. His name is Chris and he’s a real scumbag.

  2. KevinQ says:

    Note, the phrase is “Marketers are Douchebags,” not “Companies that have Marketers are Douchebags.” If you have something to sell, you need to have someone who can help you sell it.

    It is, how do you say, a necessary evil.


  3. Mary Marsala With Fries says:

    Simple logic error. Given M(arketers), E(vil) and G(ood), M is not always E, but rather, M is more likely to be E than it is to be G, and since most M takes the path of least resistance, is it probabilistically correct to bet than M will be E for any given M. In the case of B(en), one would certainly hope that BM are G; otherwise B is a H and a bit of an A, too, and we wouldn’t want *that*.

  4. Transuranic says:

    Marketers, taken to their logical conclusion, would pave our entire day, every surface and every screen, with logos, on the soon-to-be-supported-by-fMRI-studies assumption that just because I see a Coke can up against Nick Lachey’s pecs, my chocolate-tainted mind will say “mmm, higher social status, delicious” and direct me to the nearest place to buy it.

    Plus, I dated one and he was pompous & thought himself too hip for words. (Sorry, Jay, you may be reading this! How’d that “marketing geek” self-branding work out? *snort*)

  5. AcidReign says:

    …..If marketing is evil, consider the alternative. Would you pay a subscription fee to read the Consumerist? I’m not really interested in going back to a usury = evil/profit is sin society like we had in medieval Europe!

    …..My only complaint about the Consumerist’s marketing is that the ads load before the pink text background, and if an ad gets hung, a lot of times the pink doesn’t load either. Then you have black text on a black background. Fortunately, you can drag the mouse pointer down the page, it will highlight headlines, and you can click them open in another tab!

    …..Virtually every site I read regularly has ads, and I like not having to pay! And if thing ABC’s been doing with online viewing of Lost and Alias catches on with the networks, I’ll be able to punt Charter Cable to Hell where it belongs!

  6. P33KAJ3W says:

    Adblock and Filterset.G

  7. trixare4kids says:

    I second the “Adblock and Fliterset.G” for Firefox motion. I didn’t even know consumerist HAD advertising except a couple text things I see now ‘n again.