UPDATE: No, they’re not.

When you’re Dell and your laptops start spontaneously exploding, even taking out trucks and houses in the conflagration, it only takes every single site on the net posting pictures of the fires to prod you into doing the responsible thing and initiating a recall.

But recalls are expensive. How best to recoup losses? Heck, why not charge the customers?

Lowel G. wrote us with a rather horrifying story of being sent an invoice for his recalled Dell battery. Worse yet, he can’t get any response from Dell, who claim that every time something leaves the warehouse — recall or not — they send out an invoice. And, no doubt, many hapless suckers pay them.

Shame on Dell. First, they sell you a hand grenade instead of a laptop; then, they invoice you when you aren’t willing to pull out the pin with your teeth and drop it down your pants. Lowel’s email, after the jump.

You can see the the look of surprise, or should I say a look of crazed madness on my face after receiving a billing statement from Dell for a battery they recalled.

About a month after Dell started recalling the laptop batteries a friend told me that Dell was recalling laptop batteries and if I had checked mine to see if it was on their list. To my shock and horror my battery was on their list! But why didn’t they call me, email me, or send a letter in the mail about the recall? Ok, so I went to their web site and put my info into their system so that I could receive a new battery.

Two days later the battery arrived. Wow, that was fast, But wait a month later I received a billing statement in the mail showing I owed Dell $74.92 for the recalled battery replacement.

So being the crazed madman that I am when It comes to companies that down right screw up, I called Dell asking why I received a bill for the replacement battery. The Dell customer service representative, Chinese I think, no Indian, Oh wait it was…….. Hell I don’t know what the customer service representative was, but all I know was I had the worst experience trying to get this woman to understand my problem.

After about 40 minutes on the phone with her I threatened to take my computers and blow them up, and then go out and by a Mac. For some reason she started understanding my problem, and stated that any time a product leaves their warehouse that an invoice is generated (I wonder how many people paid that invoice). Boy, I flipped out on her after hearing that, and asked to speak to a manager so that I could file a complaint. Of course She started having a hard time understanding me again. 20 minutes later she finally told me that I would have to call back on a Monday because no manger was available on Friday’s and that I could make my complaint then.

Of course being unsatisfied with that answer, and like I said before, being the crazed madman that I am when It comes to companies that down right screw up, I went to Dell’s web site to get a “contact us” email address write to and file a complaint. Once again, I got the run around, but this time it was on their web site. Finally I found a way to contact them (you know those “leave your comments” boxes) So I sent in my complaint through their site.

I received an email back right away (automated ~e-mail Dell should have sent to tell me about the recall in the first place ~ see attachment). So I waited, and I waited, and I waited, for a real reply, finally I received an e-mail back from Dell (See attachment). Now I am pissed off more than ever before and was wondering if you folks could help me out by finding an address to the President or an upper level so that I can write and file a formal complaint. If I can get an address and write to them and still get no satisfaction, then I’ll make a video of me blowing up all my Dell computers (3) plus my wife’s laptop, and my sons laptop (five Dell’s total) which I’ll send to Dell. Then I’ll go buy HP, Compact or other type computers. Really makes me wonder how long stuff like this has been going on with Dell, and how may people actually paid those invoices! I think I’ll send them a invoice for $74.92 for my time being wasted!