Yum! Brands, the fast food company so excitable it requires an exclamation point, is about to trim some fat from its lineup up eateries. The company has announced its intention to put its Long John Silver’s and A&W All-American Food chains on the market.
It’s been a bad year for the Colonel. People under 25 don’t know who he is; the KFC franchisees are in a lawsuit with their corporate overseers, Popeyes beat KFC in a taste test and the company is paying college girls to advertise the Double Down on their butts. To make matters worse, KFC announced yesterday that U.S. sales continue to sink.
Tension between many KFC franchisees and the chicken chain’s corporate leaders have reached a fever pitch in recent months, with the suits at HQ trying to revamp the eatery’s image while the upset franchise operators say it’s only alienating customers and hurting business.
The people of England may need to upgrade their plumbing — Taco Bell is coming to the UK later this summer.
A police officer and his family from Sydney, Nebraska have been awarded $40,000 from their lawsuit which alleged that a KFC/Taco Bell store had served them food contaminated with an employee’s spit and urine in 2005. The lawsuit stated that fellow workers actually saw the employee taint the food and told management who failed to alert the family, according to the AP. Consequently, the officer’s two sons became violently ill. His 4-year-old was hospitalized and treated for gastroenteritis and dehydration. Details, inside…
Junk food connoisseurs will be elated to learn that according to Fox 5, Yum! Brand restaurants are now restocking tomatoes after the recent salmonella outbreak which has forced many restaurants to take them off the menu. Federal officials say that the outbreak has sickened 277 people nationwide. The Yum! Brand restaurants include Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut, A&W and Long John Silver’s. This article does not imply, however, that their food alone won’t make you sick.
Whether you’re trying to get as much of your Yum! Brand food into your mouth as humanly possible or just not in the mood to raise those heavy old arms to feed yourself, new wearable feed bags are functional, fashionable and sweeping the nation. Foods from Taco Bell, KFC and Pizza Hut work the best, but we’ve found that wearable feedbags work on almost any kind of food, and they look great too. See The Onion video, inside…
“We’re not going to play the role of Simon Cowell and critique dances,” McCarthy said. “But if a player acted in a way that was a reflection of a corporate message, then we’d have to take a look at it.”
Now, now, Mr. McCarthy. Don’t try to “draft off the excitement” of American Idol. We’re on to you.
KFC has issued a press release explaining their newest marketing effort: They’re going to make your office smell like chicken.
Only a few days after confirming that legal action would proceed against the tiny Tan Hiill Inn for the use of the trademarked term “Family Feast” on their once-a-year Christmas menu, KFC has changed its tiny chicken-sized mind.
New York City’s Health Department has taken the blame for the KFC/Taco Bell rat infestation that made national news. (If, though some miracle you haven’t seen the footage yet, i.e. you’ve just come out of a coma or recently regained lost eye-sight, do give it a look. It’s worth it.) Anyhow, the inspector who gave a pass to the KFC/Taco Bell has resigned and the Health Department is, like, really sorry and stuff.