Under the terms of a preliminary settlement agreement, [Timberland and e-commerce company GSI] will pay $7 million into a cash fund to reimburse those who received the messages, according to KamberEdelson LLC, one of the law firms that helped bring the suit.
suits
Timberland Offering Up To $150 To Recipients Of Its Text Message Spam
By 9.24.08
Vienna "All Beef" Hot Dogs Are Made With Sheep, Pigs
By 9.21.08
Sorry Chicagoans, your beloved Vienna “100% All Beef” hot dogs are actually encased in sheep and pigs, according to a recently settled class action suit. Under the settlement, all class members—anyone in the U.S. who bought a Vienna hot dog at a hot dog stand in the past five years—are entitled to $3 per consumed hog dog. To submit a claim, visit caclawyers.com/viennasettlement.html and follow the procedures listed there.
FTC: These Eleven Companies Cannot Cure Cancer
By 9.21.08
We’re sorry, but there is no cure for cancer. The FTC is going after eleven companies that claim otherwise by selling potions, herbs, and a “systematized program of thinking good thoughts” masquerading as cures. You shouldn’t need a federal agency to tell you that the “Miracle Water for Cancer” doesn’t actually cure anything, nor does it reverse weight gain and aging. Bummer. Six of the snake oil companies agreed to settle, but five will crawl before a judge and argue that they can cure cancer. Let’s look at the list…
Men's Warehouse Thinks You've Lost Too Much Weight
By 6.23.08
Kudos to Travis! He lost 35 pounds recently, just in time for swimsuit season. Happy with his weight loss, he took his Men’s Wearhouse suits in for the free alterations for life he was promised at the time of purchase. Unfortunately, Men’s Wearhouse wasn’t as thrilled with Travis shedding his college beer belly. They called his weight loss too extreme for their free alteration program, and demanded $50 per pair of pants. See what Travis has to say about this, inside.
Widow Sues Petsmart For Selling Killer Hamster
By 4.11.08
In 2005, Petsmart sold a woman a hamster infected with lymphocytic choriomeningitis virus, or LCMV. The woman died of a stroke, and her liver was transplanted into Thomas Magee. He subsequently contracted LCMV and died from complications. His widow is now suing Petsmart. According to MSNBC, the lawsuit claims that “two other people who received organs from this woman died and one became seriously ill.”
Lawsuit Says Verizon's Text Message TV Show Contests Are "Illegal Gambling"
By 3.29.08
A class-action lawsuit has been filed in California against Verizon and several third-party companies, alleging that they promoted illegal gambling by enticing customers to pay to enter contests in which there was an “infinitesimally” small chance of winning, reports RCRWireless. “The suit centers on 99-cent charges levied on wireless consumers who played contests associated with popular TV shows like ‘Deal or No Deal’ and ‘Sole Survivor.'” The plaintiffs claim that the contests were less promotional sweepstakes than “illegal lotteries designed to generate revenues far in excess of the value of the cash awarded.”
By 3.27.08
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The US Isn’t the only wacky lawsuit country. In China, KFC won a defamation lawsuit filed by an elderly gentleman who accused the fast food chain of damaging his social standing, because he felt their “teadog set meal” implied that he and his grandson had become “dog friends.” [China Daily]
Network Solutions Sued For Front-Running Domain Names
By 2.28.08
Earlier this year we noted that Network Solutions is “front running” domain names—that is, automatically purchasing domain names that customers search for and holding them for four days before releasing them again. During that period, the only way customers can buy the domain names is through Network Solutions for 3 to 5 times more than what you can pay elsewhere. Now “search engine expert” Chris McElroy has filed suit against them, named ICANN as a defendant, and is seeking class action status.
Men's Wearhouse Can't Help You, Get Out
By 2.4.08
Clint at Seattlest went shopping for a suit for his wedding. The wedding isn’t until August, but he and his beyonce just wanted to see what Men’s Wearhouse had to offer. Mostly, they had to offer a really rude sales clerk who told them to get out of her store and come back in the summer when they were ready to shop.
Sprint Will Allow Departing Customers To Unlock Their Phones
By 10.28.07
Sprint will relinquish unlock codes to departing customers in good standing as part of proposed class action settlement.The class was formed last year by California consumers who argued that the locked phones bound them to Sprint by making it more expensive to switch carriers. Sprint claimed that releasing the codes was unnecessary since the service contract clearly informed consumers that phones would only work on Sprint’s network.
New Hampshire Jails 68-Year-Old Man For Paying Toll With Tokens
By 9.16.07
Meet Thomas Jensen. The state that boasts “Live Free Or Die” jailed him for three days for trying to pay a fifty-cent toll with two tokens. Jensen believes the tokens represent a contract with New Hampshire that was illegally violated last January when the state began exclusively using E-Z Pass. A toll worker refused to accept the tokens and directed Jensen to a state tropper, who issued a citation for theft of services. A judge gave Jensen three choices: pay a $150 fine, perform community service, or spend three days in jail. Jensen chose jail.
Jensen never told his wife he was in jail. Beverly Jensen said she only found out when asked by a television news reporter.
Judge Suing Dry Cleaner For $54 Million Cries In Court
By 6.14.07
“Never before in recorded history have a group of defendants engaged in such misleading and unfair business practices,” Pearson said in his opening statement. You don’t get a lot of firsts in recorded history in D.C. Superior Court, though I should add that Marion Barry was in the building for his day in traffic court, and the pants suit easily outdrew the ex-mayor-for-life.
It gets better. One of Fancy Pants Pearson’s witnesses testified, comparing the Mom and Pop dry cleaner to Nazi Germany:
“At 89, I’m not ready to be chased,” she said. “But I was in World War II as a WAC, so I think I can take care of myself. Having lived in Germany and knowing the people who were victims of the Nazis, I thought he was going to beat me up. I thought of what Hitler had done to thousands of Jews.”
Wait. It gets better.
DC Judge Reconsiders Demands, Now Wants Only $54 Million For Misplaced Pants
By 6.9.07
You may remember Judge Roy “Fancy Pants” Pearson; he sued his Korean cleaners for $65 million after his pants were misplaced, claiming signs promising “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service” constituted consumer fraud. Judge Fancy Pants has reconsidered his suit, and has reduced his demands to only $54 million. The cleaners’ attorney thinks Fancy Pants is being unreasonable:
Chris Manning, the Chungs’ attorney, says that can be considered fraud only if the signs misled a “reasonable” person. No reasonable person, he says, would interpret them to be an unconditional promise of satisfaction.
We think this is the perfect case to be adjudicated either by Judge Judy, or the Judge Judy Soundboard. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER
Clothing Makers Sue The Government Over Gender-Based Tariffs
By 4.29.07
Several clothing makers, including Steve Madden, Asics and Columbia Sportswear are suing the government over discriminatory gender-based tariffs. For example, Congress levies a 28% tariff on men’s bathing suits, but only a 12% tariff on women’s bathing suits.
If the clothing companies prevail, they could reclaim close to $1 billion worth of tariffs based on gender differences. For example, the lawsuit claims that the government earned $2.5 million last year from discriminatory tariffs on underpants (penalizing women), $93 million for cotton shirts (penalizing men), $16 million for silk shirts (penalizing women) and $71 million for shoes with leather tops (women again).
Tariffs are the quiet cousin of taxes; you seldom see a charge for tariffs, though they are factored into the cost of a wide array items manufactured overseas. To make the suit moot, the government may equalize tariffs at the higher level, which would hurt clothing makers and consumers alike. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER
DC Judge Seeks $65 Million In Damages From Korean Cleaner
By 4.28.07
A DC judge has filed a $65 million suit against a Korean cleaner, claiming that signs promising “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service” constitute consumer fraud. Roy Pearson was appointed to a DC judgeship, a job that requires a suit. The judge brought several suits to Custom Cleaners for alteration, but one pair of pants went missing. So the judge did what any reasonable DC judge might do; he sent the cleaner a different kind of suit: a law suit.
How does he get to $65 million? The District’s consumer protection law provides for damages of $1,500 per violation per day. Pearson started multiplying: 12 violations over 1,200 days, times three defendants. A pant leg here, a pant leg there, and soon, you’re talking $65 million.
The cleaner offered $12,000 to settle the case, but the judge refused. The original cost of the alteration: $10.50 — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER
Blogobitchin’!
By 7.11.06
• Buying a wedding dress on Craiglist is cheap, but you also have to factor in the cost of removing the boob padding. [Another Fucking Wedding] “Wedding dress redux”
