We’ve all experienced the the age-old quandary, “I’m hungry, but I’m too weak/lazy to move my arms, whatever shall I do?” Enter the Food Lift! It’s a revolutionary new product that takes the work out of eating! Simply place the food in the trough and then the dynamo-screw lifts the meal through the tube into your mouth, “like a waiter climbing a staircase.” Try one today! [More]
satire
Video: Plunder Funnel! New Consumerist Original Scam Spoof
By 4.7.10
How would you like to be wallowing up to your eye sockets in filthy lucre?!?! PLUNDER FUNNEL is a sure-fire money-making factory that will teach how you to cannibalize any human relationship and turn it into cold hard cash. Taylor Sternberg from Broadway’s “Jersey Boys” stars in this Consumerist original video parody, written and directed by Ben Popken. [More]
Video: pHarmony Matches Polluters, Lobbyists, And Politicians
By 2.18.10
New service “pHarmony” is like eHarmony except it matches together polluters, lobbyists and politicians looking to make that special connection that only money and power can bring! In this satirical Greenpeace video, an oil lobbyist talks about how used pHarmony to find his true special someone, Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska. He says things like, “We both like to stay up at night and gut energy bills,” “It’s like we finish each other’s legislation,” and, “We talked about how much we both don’t like Jon Stewart.” Worth a chuckle, as long as you don’t take it too seriously and get all bent out of shape about it, oh wait, here comes the Consumerist comment section. [More]
Gorge Like A Pro At All You Can Eat Buffets
By 11.10.09
Eating The Road has posted THE definitive guide to maximizing your all-you-can eat buffet experience. From types of buffets, to pre-game preparations, to inter-diner tactics, to post-game, everything you need to know about pigging your friggin’ brains out like a pro is here. A sampling:
A Stingy Scoundrel Explains How To Save On Groceries By Price-Matching
By 10.19.09
I wrote a (hopefully) humorous money-saving book called Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel: 100 Dirty Little Money-Grubbing Secrets. The New York Post called it “required reading” Sunday, although not everyone’s a fan.
Google Invites Privacy-Concerned Users To Move To Remote Village
By 8.12.09
The Onion reports that Google’s new privacy policy requires users who wish to opt out to relocate to a remote ghetto and abandon all contact with the outside world. (Photo: kalle svensson)
By 5.6.09
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The Onion Is Killing Their West Coast Print Editions “Unfortunately, despite healthy readership in both Los Angeles and San Francisco (readership has actually risen despite our reduction in copies in recent months) the advertising in both cities has been abysmal,” CEO Steve Hannah said in a memo. [Gothamist]
By 3.12.09
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Our food safety problems have been solved! [The Onion]
Check Out The New Commercial For Citibank!
By 3.9.09
Here’s what you can expect from a nationalized Citibank, courtesy of Funny or Die. NSFW warning: this thing is full of f-bombs, and even an r-mine. (Full video after the jump.)
Step Back In Time To The Blockbuster Living Museum
By 5.16.08
Before the days of Netflix and the internet there was the “video store.” According to The Onion, Blockbuster was “a specialty shop where customers would exchange money for the short term use of videos in an archaic system called “renting.” Now we can visit the Blockbuster Living Museum to relive those days of yore. Watch The Onion video, inside…
The Long Johns Explain The Subprime Meltdown
By 11.29.07
John Bird and John Fortune are British satirists who, as The Long Johns, explain in eminently practical terms exactly how the subprime meltdown came to be.
Anti-Wal-Mart Show Discounted By Critics
By 9.5.07
, but the closest New York City residents are going to get to the Wal-Mart experience is… a musical! Yes, with singing and dancing! After a year of retooling to transfer it from its semi-professional beginnings in Wisconsin to its latest incarnation Off-Broadway, “Walmartopia” opened this week to mostly poor reviews.
How Are We Paying Off Our Subprime Mortgages?
By 8.16.07
But with liquidity drying up, the last, and most hilarious, option is probably shrinking…
Consumer-Made Ad Mocks Chevy
By 3.31.06
With all the bloat and spasmodic jibbering about consumer-generated ads, it’s nice to see one backfire. Chevy teamed up with The Apprentice to hold an online contest where you remix video and sound clips to make your own Chevy Tahoe ad. Winners receive their choice various expense paid trips.
