How would you like to be wallowing up to your eye sockets in filthy lucre?!?! PLUNDER FUNNEL is a sure-fire money-making factory that will teach how you to cannibalize any human relationship and turn it into cold hard cash. Taylor Sternberg from Broadway’s “Jersey Boys” stars in this Consumerist original video parody, written and directed by Ben Popken.

TRANSCRIPT:

JEROME
Do you know two people? Good!

JEROME
My proven system will teach you how to transform any human relationship into cold hard cash!

CUT TO Jerome sitting in fountain, now with lots of cash in the water. He splashes around.

JEROME
How much would you like to be earning in extra income per month? A thousand? Five thousand? Seven hundred thousand three-hundred twenty-nine? The only limit is infinity!

MAN
Thanks, plunder funnel!

JEROME
Some have called this a “pyramid scheme.” But flip a pyramid and what do you get? A funnel! A plunder funnel gushing straight into your bank account.

JEROME
No gimmicks or gotchas. No envelope-stuffing or juice crystals. Just money, money, money!

VOICEOVER
Plunder funnel!

JEROME
So I’ll see you this weekend at the –

VOICEOVER
– Newark Double Tree Motel –

JEROME
– Or call the number at the bottom of your screen to receive my free internet book!

VOICEOVER
Shipping and handling not included.

JEROME
The money is out there just sitting in people’s wallets, begging you to take it!

MONEY
Please! Take us!

JEROME
The only question is, will you?

BLACKOUT

Credits:
Written and Directed by
Ben Popken

Camera, Editing
Brian Goldstein, Consumer Reports Video

Starring
Taylor Sternberg

With
Ben Popken
Chris Prentice

Voiceover
Ernie Sprance, Consumer Reports

Animation
Chris Walters

Sound Samples (Creative Commons Sampling Plus 1.0 License)
Ashassin
Dynamicell
Music Genius
Benboncan
yabeloko
Anton
Torn.Rugged.Audio.35
Walter Odington

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