razors
![Gillette Razor Blade Hyperdrive](../../../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/gil.jpg?w=225&h=218&crop=1)
Gillette Razor Blade Hyperdrive
I, Brownlee, may have mentioned this before… but I am a huge fan of Gillette’s multiple-razor initiatives. I can still remember the first time I experienced the Mach 3, like an angel’s tongue lusciously licking the follicles off of my cheek. The next day, I marched into work and, with a word of stern command, began ordering stray co-workers — men, women, it didn’t matter — to caress, nay, fondle my cheeks. “What you’re feeling is very similar to what my ass once felt like as an infant,” I’d confidently assert. If this made my co-workers uncomfortable, it was well hidden by the awe which enraptured them at the touch of my silky-smooth jowls.
![Gilette
s Fusion Razor Review With Built-In Laser-Ion Cannon](../../../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/fiveblades.jpg?w=200&h=116&crop=1)
Gilette s Fusion Razor Review With Built-In Laser-Ion Cannon
Copyranter, a disaffected but unbowed copywriter, has a “nice,” i.e. fanged, review of Gilette’s new Fusion razor, which, in keeping with predictions by The Onion and Mad Magazine, features five blades, 10 microfins, a trimmer, a face-goo strip and an intergalactic sub-atomic ray gun.