Longtime readers know that we recommend going directly to your favorite independent local florist, but we won’t fault Rebecca for placing an order through the national FTD site. We’re cool like that, and the flowers her friend got were probably great. We do want to share her experience, though, to point out something interesting about FTD and many other retailers. Sometimes it pays to clear your Web browser’s cookies while browsing. It “pays” in a very literal sense. [More]
garden of discontent
We Don’t Want To Hear About Your Disappointing Flowers This Mother’s Day
By 5.1.13
There’s only a week and a half until Mother’s Day, and we have a goal. We do not want to publish any disappointing wire service flower photos on Monday, May 13. None. Because everyone reading this right now who plans to order flowers will proceed to the friendliest, best-reviewed local florist they can find and order directly.
FTD Salvages Fiancée’s Birthday Present After Florist Tries To Kill Her With Lilies
By 3.1.13
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter all that much when a florist substitutes in a different flower from the one you ordered, and sometimes it matters very much. In the case of Andy’s fiancée, it’s actually kind of important for her to not get a certain kind of flower, because she’s allergic to it. It’s no fun to get flowers for your birthday if you can’t be in the same room as them. [More]
This 1-800-Flowers ‘Deluxe Fruit And Gourmet Basket’ Is Some Bruised Fruit, Beef Jerky, And Cheese Nips
By 2.27.13 — Updated: 2.28.13
It’s not that David expected earth-shattering things from a 1-800-Flowers gift basket. He didn’t expect it to look exactly like the photo at left, especially since he ordered a smaller size. He was expecting something that didn’t look like your what lazy bachelor(ette) friend who can’t cook dredged up in the back of their kitchen cabinets to bring to your Super Bowl Party. [More]
FTD Thinks ‘A Different Vase Is OK’ And ‘Change The Flowers Entirely’ Mean The Same Thing
By 2.25.13
At high-volume times like Valentine’s Day, and at any other time, really, flower-delivery services like FTD reserve the right to substitute something similar if they don’t have the exact item in stock that you want. Mark was upset shortly after Valentine’s Day because he ordered an arrangement that had a purple container, purple flowers, and some white lilies in it. Purple is her favorite color, you see, and lilies are her favorite flower. Isn’t Mark thoughtful? Speaking for the ladies of America, he is. He’s also really mad. [More]
More Valentine’s Day Mishaps From Proflowers
By 2.20.13
Mykel picked out a lovely bouquet for his fiancée from Proflowers, but the lovely and lush bouquet isn’t what showed up on her desk. What she got had a lot fewer flowers than it had looked like on the site. [More]
The 2013 Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent
By 2.15.13
This year, the major national flower-distribution networks were just as busy as usual on Valentine’s Day. Busy being terrible at their jobs. Maybe the vast majority of flower arrangements ended up where they were supposed to and looked more or less correct, but it’s the outliers that make both senders and recipients feel like crap. When the vast floral-industrial complex markets to us with the message that the quality of the flowers we send or receive is a proxy for the quality of our love, then they should go out of their way not to screw that up for us. Right? [More]
Twitter Feeds For 1-800 Flowers, FTD Are Apologizing More Than Boyfriends Who Screwed Up Valentine’s Day
By 2.15.13
We’ve shown you some Valentine’s Day disasters from one floral delivery service, and we’re sorting through the many photos sent in by angry customers of other companies. But if you want to see just how peeved customers are, look no further than the Twitter feeds for FTD and 1-800 Flowers. [More]
Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent: The 2013 Entries From Proflowers
By 2.14.13
When Proflowers isn’t accusing people of bigamy, Proflowers is apparently busy really, really disappointing girlfriends. So far today we’ve received two reports of the company dispatching really subpar roses. What the recipients actually got is nice and all, but not what the sender paid for. [More]
FTD Kicks Off The Valentine’s Day Disappointment Season With Subpar Roses On February 11th
By 2.12.13
Alex tried to beat the rush. He had a dozen roses delivered to his lady’s workplace on Monday, February 11th, paying $96 for the privilege. Whatever he expected, it was not what appears in the photo that he sent: even properly lit, there’s a lot more green and a lot less luscious red rose in that picture than there should be. [More]
Florist Added Pretty Purple Ribbon, Subtracted Actual Attractive Flowers
By 12.10.12
Maybe MZ should have just picked up some flowers from Walmart or the grocery store instead. FTD sent the order to a local florist, but not a competent local florist. Maybe FTD should learn to search Yelp first. [More]
FTD.com Vs. Reality: Enjoy Your Mother's Day Chargeback
By 5.21.12
It’s not a major flower-giving holiday here at The Consumerist without an installment of the Garden of Discontent. Laura (not me, a different one) sent along this disappointing diptych of the lush bouquet that she ordered for her mom from FTD.com and the meager handful of plant matter that was actually delivered, a day late. [More]
1800Flowers.com Doesn't Deliver Mom's Flowers, Conveniently Forgets To Tell You
By 5.18.12
Here’s the thing with sending gifts, particularly gifts of flowers. You generally don’t call up the recipient ahead of time and say, “hey, expect some flowers on Saturday.” A big part of the gift is the delight and element of surprise. Aaron ordered some Mother’s Day flowers for his mom from 1800Flowers.com, and only learned that his order hadn’t showed up later in the week when he noticed she hadn’t mentioned them. Okay, they hadn’t delivered the flowers, but why didn’t they notify him, and why did they keep the money? [More]
Four More Sad Florist Tales From The Garden Of Discontent
By 2.17.12
Closed lilies, not-so-fresh blooms, and two flower arrangements that never showed up, leaving disappointed girlfriends in their wake. Delivering the flowers a day late is better than not at all…but not when you paid extra to make sure your significant other knows that you didn’t forget to wow her on the 14th. Welcome to the third and final installment of this year’s Valentine’s Day Garden of Discontent. [More]
Florist Gives Refund For Botched Valentine's Delivery, Then Repos Flowers
By 2.16.12
Maybe the flowers that Seth ordered for his girlfriend from a locally-owned florist in Texas were fresh, beautiful, and exactly what he asked for. Or maybe they weren’t. He has no idea. The blooms were delivered to the apartment complex office during the afternoon on the 14th, but without a name or apartment number to indicate who they might belong to. After lying about why there were no flowers a few times, they gave Seth the refund he asked for. Then sent a driver back to the apartment office to take back the flowers before his girlfriend could fetch them. [More]
The 2012 Valentine's Day Garden Of Discontent
By 2.15.12
On Valentine’s Day, we are expected to show loved ones how much they mean to us by giving them dead plants. For extra style points, we pay strangers to bring these dead plants to the recipient for us. However, florists are unfathomably busy on Valentine’s Day. So busy that we almost feel bad criticizing when things go wrong. Almost. The Consumerist’s annual Valentine’s Day Garden of Discontent is a collection of flower or gift deliveries that aren’t what the recipient had in mind. Such as calling your fianc√©e a whore. [More]
Online Florist Garden Of Discontent: The Christmas Shrub
By 12.21.11
Erica’s boyfriend is the type of exceptionally thoughtful person who sends his girlfriend’s mom flowers for Christmas. It’s a nice 1800Flowers.com arrangement, with the greenery arranged in the shape of a Christmas tree and decorated with candy canes. Or, in the case of the arrangement actually sent, a roundish shrub. [More]
Is This Flower Arrangement Worth $200?
By 9.1.11 — Updated: 2.15.13
After a coworker’s mother passed away, J’s officemates chipped in to buy a very large, very pretty flower arrangement for the viewing. It cost around $200. While delivery and overhead are substantial in the flower industry, they didn’t expect to find that this pitiful thing had been sent in place of the massive arrangement they ordered. [More]
