Oh, jeez. Way to go, Vonage:
fire
Cool Recall of the Week: QVC Flaming RC Flying Saucers
By 2.27.06
We don’t usually report on US Consumer Product Safety recalls. The news feed reads like the cryptomaniacal ravings of the maternally paranoid. A typical recall might start “Huggles Q. Featherbottom dolls recalled after small child manages to plunge the torso-sized plush entirely up his own rectum. CEO of Huggles Q. Featherbottom, Inc. claims new dolls will feature an improved Anti-Rectum-Stuffing guard system.” Meanwhile, when royal ‘We’ at the Consumerist were growing up, our royal fathers handed us Swiss Army Knives on our eighth birthdays and then sat around with his royal hands upon royal knees, chuckling, as we cut our hands to bloody ribbons fiddling with it. Boys will be boys, after all. The USCPS are bunch of pussies.
For God’s Sakes… Save The Porn!
By 1.25.06
We know that when we linked the story about the Prada store burning down, our astute readership recognized the post for what it was: shameless quota-meeting filler on a slow news day. “So Paris Hilton has one less ten thousand dollar handbag—how does that affect me, Joe or Jane America?” you might have asked yourself, depending on the configuration of your genitals or gender image. We admit, it wasn’t much of a story, and we’re sorry to have wasted your time with it. To use the parlance of consumerism, it added little take home.
SoHo Fire Ruins Millions in Prada
By 1.23.06
A fire in 575 Broadway occurred over the weekend with no loss of life, but perhaps over $5 million worth of loss to the Prada store, according to Gothamist. Other stores in the building, including American Eagle, also are pretty much smoked, as well as office spaces above, home to the likes of companies like Take 2, of Grand Theft Auto infamy.
