At a certain time, having a cell phone in and of itself was a bold proclamation of wealth and status. Then more trashy people started getting them. “Oh, I’m just standing in line at the bank, talking on my cel-LEE!” some flabby whore would shriek to an invisible stranger on the other end as you stood behind her in line at the very same bank. In a world where cell phone technology is as ubiquitous as the existence of human bovine trailer trash, how is the savvy and opulent consumer supposed to proclaim their status?
cell phones
AOL Weather Alerts Only Happy When It Rains
By 6.20.06
We like to Technorati up companies that are on Gawker overlord Nick Denton’s Nixonesque ‘Enemy Hit List’ from time to time and see if anything’s slipped through the cracks. A juicy stream-of-conscious rant about AOL on some MySpace idiot’s blog can really shoot rainbows through those Slow Tuesday doldrums.
Top 10 Non-Mutating Cell Phones
By 5.18.06
That gigantic pulsating growth bulging out of the side of your head sure is socially awkward, isn’t it? Your fellow movie theater patrons incessantly complain about the fluorescent glow. The erratic squirting of radioactive goop has ruined many a bar mitzvah. And you certainly aren’t comfortable with what you suspect is the growth’s nascent sentience, exhibited in the hypnotically commanding undercurrent of murderous thoughts which you can hear sometimes at night.
Make Anonymous Cell Phone Calls
By 5.9.06
With cellphones, now everyone’s a walking caller id. Here’s how to make a call on your mobile without revealing its number.
Mobile With a Capital T And That Spells Trouble
By 5.4.06
My T-Mobile horror story is actually related to our business account. I work for a relatively small telecom company (we don’t do wireless) and for about a year my job here was to dispute any errors in billing with our vendors (sad that that’s a full time job).
Verizon Wireless: “Our Phones Won’t Last Two Years”
By 5.3.06
Straight from the source: that Verizon Wireless phone you’re planning on dropping a bill or two on won’t last two years. From Lars:
Lop-Sided Cell Phone Contracts To Be Decided By Supreme Court
By 3.15.06
Speaking of crappy cell phone providers, we’ve long been aggrieved by the providers’ one-sided contracts. Sign up for a cellphone and all you are really guaranteeing a company like Verizon, Sprint or T-Mobile is that, over the course of the next year, you will continue to pay them whatever arbitrary monthly fee that they spontaneously dream up, regardless whether or not that is the fee you initially agreed to.
