At a certain time, having a cell phone in and of itself was a bold proclamation of wealth and status. Then more trashy people started getting them. “Oh, I’m just standing in line at the bank, talking on my cel-LEE!” some flabby whore would shriek to an invisible stranger on the other end as you stood behind her in line at the very same bank. In a world where cell phone technology is as ubiquitous as the existence of human bovine trailer trash, how is the savvy and opulent consumer supposed to proclaim their status?

The answer, as always, is bling. Turn your cell phone into a lump of solid gold encrusted with a rainbow of laser-refracting jewels. But who can sell you such a cell phone? The Vertu Lounge, a store-within-a-store at the back of the Nokia Store in Michigan. Although Vertu phones — fitted with “virtually unscratchable sapphire crystal, polished ceramic, ruby bearings and housings made from gold, stainless steel, titanium, carbon fiber and other unusual materials” — can go as low as $5,000, the snooty French shop owners will sell you Nokia variations costing upwards of $90,000.

$A $90,000 Cell Phone? [Sun Times]

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