Continuing our recent trend of posting surreal airline advertisements from the 70’s, who would have thunk that Whitey Ford would be asking advice from a completely out-of-his-gourd Salvador Dali on the best way to throw a knuckleball? But all that happens on Braniff Air… and more!
airlines
Spirit Air Endorses Jeb Bush in $20.08
By 7.22.06
If you like to leave your politics on the ground when you fly, you might be interested in this new promotion Spirit Air is running.
US Airways to Sell Ads on Barf Bags
By 7.19.06
Desperate to squeeze dollars from every possible orifice, US Airways announced plans to turn air sickeness bags into revenue streams.
The News; Unhealthy Alliances
By 7.17.06
• Breeze felt in the windy city. [LAT] “United Airlines to Move Head Office to Chicago From Suburb”
Mice On A Plane
By 7.15.06
The next time you fly American Airline’s friendly skies, you might want to bring a mouse trap.
Snagging Prime Dates With Frequent Flyer Miles
By 7.10.06
Like a dog trying to kiss its own reflection in a pond, using frequent flyer to fly when and where you wants can leave you wet and unsatisfied.
The Museum of Airline Puke Sacks
By 7.10.06
A thousand swollen feet suddenly uncrammed from sweaty leather sheaths, combined with lack of air flow and food that looks like it was slopped from the same steam tray into which the airline toilets empty: vomiting in an airplane is unpleasant, if perhaps unavoidable. With cramped aisles, sleeping neighbors and little leg-room, you usually don’t have time to make it to one of the small tin-closet lavatories, leaving your only recourse ballooning your cheeks, then swallowing… or the dreaded barf bag.
How Many Clicks Does It Take to Get To The Center of an Airplane?
By 7.7.06
Or, which airline has the least suckiest website? Jaunted, “The Pop Culture Travel Guide,” did a site scramble to find out.
Spirit Air $8 Fares!
By 7.6.06
You don’t need Farecast to spot this great deal, Spirit Air is offering ridiculously low airfares at $8 and $44 for specific destinations during August and September. A firm defiance of Southwest’s usurious $10 fare hike, no doubt.
British Airways Held Up By Hookers
By 6.29.06
British Airways pilots said they were too tired to fly from UK to NYC after being kept up all night by prostitutes. They claim they were put up in a hotel used by ladies of the night who made a fearful racket. It was unquiet and the felt unsafe. Some claimed their doors would not lock and pimps kept trying to get in their rooms, so they had to “erect makeshift barricades”
When Flying Requires a Shoehorn
By 6.27.06
At six feet, five inches, Tom is a big man and when flying, he likes the aisle. Lately, the airlines don’t seem to care.
Delta Plays Hide the Phone
By 6.22.06
After his flight was canceled due to a mechanical failure, Delta told David and his fellow passengers to “proceed” to the phones directly across from the gate to rebook their travels. However, upon exiting the plane, no phones were to be found.
The News; Clunkers & Claptrap
By 6.22.06 — Updated: 9.8.16
• Now your Vonage bill will come with a boonies subsidy fee, just like grownup telcos. [NYT] “Net Phone Service Providers Are Told to Pay Subsidy Fee”
American Airlines: A Big Bucket of Suck
By 6.20.06
Somehow sensing that things were not going to go well, a Livejournaler by the name of Ovid liveblogged his travails in trying to go from JFK to the emerald isles. His travels are undercut by American Airlines’ inability to change a tire, which causes a chain reaction of unfortunate events not unlike a butterfly flapping its wings in Tokyo and causing global warming.
The News; Home-Wreckers
By 6.20.06
• Bernanke should commission Bob the Builder to sing them a cheer-up song. “Builders’ confidence lowest in 11 years” [CT]
