Man Sets Porch Pirate Trap With Giant Box Of Dog Poop

Packages left unattended on porches and stoops are low-hanging fruit for thieves who comb neighborhoods looking for something to steal. You can keep parcels safe by setting up a locked drop-box, having packages delivered to a safer address, asking for items to be held for pickup — or you can teach them a lesson with the help of a box full of dog turds.

These thieves are called porch pirates because they plunder front porches for e-commerce packages before the intended recipients get to them. What they seem to forget is that one of the many items people can now order online are small, inexpensive, unobtrusive surveillance cameras, which is how a Riverside, CA family got the joy of not only leaving a box of dog turds on their porch, but watching the thief take them.

dogpartyThey had a large number of dogs over to visit for their Great Dane’s birthday party, leaving an inevitable amount of poops behind. They put the party leftovers and their own large dog’s leavings behind, filling a Priority Mail box and setting a trap on the porch.

Local police say that the thief ditched the package after opening it. “He dropped it as soon as he found out,” a Riverside cop told CBS Los Angeles. “He didn’t want nothing to do with it and kept on riding.” Understandable.

The man was later apprehended and arrested, by the way. You can see him holding another package in the video, though we don’t know whether that’s another item he scooped up illicitly.

To be clear, that is not a recommendation that you actually do this. Antagonizing thieves is not a good idea. What you should do to prevent thefts from your porch is have the carrier hold your parcels for pickup, have your own locked drop box on your property, or have your packages shipped to a location where someone is around during the day, like your office or the home of a friend who is a homemaker or telecommuter.

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