Free Krispy Kreme Donuts On Monday For Customers Who Are Vaguely Pirate-Like

Image courtesy of Laurie Pink

We probably don’t need to tell you that Monday, Sept. 19 is National Talk Like a Pirate Day, the day when that one annoying person in your office tries for about 15 minutes to get people to say “shiver me timbers” or some other nonsense before getting so much side-eye that they finally give up and take off the eye patch. The one good thing about this not-at-all-a-holiday, at least for fans of sugary donuts, is free stuff from Krispy Kreme.

Once again, Krispy Kreme will give away a free glazed donut to any customer who “talks like a pirate,” a phrase that is open to a lot of interpretation. Do you have to say sailor-y things like “avast,” “matey,” or “fleet week”?

We definitely advise against taking a more approach by reenacting the capture of the MV Maersk Alabama by Somali pirates, as dramatized in the 2013 Tom Hanks movie Captain Phillips. That would be a bit much, and probably end up with the police involved.

However, if you’re willing to actually dress up like a pirate (“must include three pirate items, such as an eye patch or bandana,” so don’t just put on your Andrew McCutchen jersey) you can score a dozen free donuts.

Of course, not everyone has a pirate costume sitting around, and the cost of acquiring one might negate the benefit of free donuts, so Krispy Kreme is adding a digital cheat this year.

The donut chain will let customers use a custom (Kustom?) Snapchat filter that will digitally turn them into pirates.

“Any guest who shows his or her Snapchat image to a team member at a participating Krispy Kreme shop will qualify for a dozen Original Glazed doughnuts,” says Krispy Kreme in a statement.

This all comes with the HUGE caveat of the promotion only being available at “participating” locations, meaning there might be some Krispy Kreme stores where employees will just stare blankly as you pointlessly do your best Jack Sparrow impersonation (it’s not that good).

Yaaarrr, or something.