Whole Foods’ New 365 Stores Might Include Tattoo Parlors Because Millennials

This cat also has a cattoo of a laser pointer beam but you’ll have to trust us on that one. (lindsay.dee.bunny) and (AlishaV)

This cat also has a cattoo of a laser pointer beam but you’ll have to trust us on that one. (lindsay.dee.bunny) and (AlishaV)

Everyone knows how annoying it is when all you want is a bunch of carrots, some celery, crusty bread, and body art that will never come off your skin without an expensive, painful removal process, and you just can’t find a one-stop shop for it all. Here comes Whole Foods with its new “365 by Whole Foods Market” stores, which may include in-house tattoo parlors, because that makes complete and total sense.

In what may be something the company dreamed up during a particularly vivid fever dream induced by overexposure to the word “millennial” in marketing meetings, Whole Foods says it’s considering plunking tattoo parlors in its new, lower-priced 365 stores, among other things.

The company is letting it be known that it’s ready to start something meaningful, announcing on the 365 brand’s site that it’s looking for partners to help its new venture be something a bit different than your average grocery store, “to help enhance the 365 experience.”

No partners have been confirmed yet, but it could be anything from the aforementioned tattoo parlor to other services, as well as food vendors, lifestyle brands, and record shops.

“There’s a number of smaller-store competitors out there that are doing a nice job,” Co-Chief Executive Officer Walter Robb said in an interview with Bloomberg TV. “We don’t see any reason why we can’t go participate in that part of the market as well with our 365 by Whole Foods offer — it’s going to be unique.”

The new stores will cater to a younger generation of shoppers who want to buy organic food but don’t want to spend their whole paycheck in the process.

You’ve got time to decide which pithy, yet heartfelt quote you want on the inside of your wrist yet: the first 365 store opens in May in L.A., with a plan for 10 stores total by October 2017.