Coolest Company President Ever Warns Employees Not To Ruin ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ For Everyone Else

If your mouth runs, you better run.

If you let your mouth run, you better run.

If you’ve been shunning social media and refusing to speak to anyone who’s already seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens, you aren’t alone. But you also know how difficult it can be for anyone to keep their traps shut around the water cooler (seriously, I find your lack of restraint disturbing). That’s why the coolest company president we’ve ever heard of made sure to step in and prevent life-ruining chatter before it starts.

Yesterday, workers at Pittsburgh-area moving company Starck Van Lines received a very important memo about workplace policy from the president, warning anyone with early tickets to the movie to zip those lips or face the consequences, reports Jerry Barca at

The whole thing is pretty great:

From: Steve Starck
Sent: Thursday, December 17, 2015 1:29 PM
To: Starck Group
Subject: Star Wars No Disclosure Policy (SWNDP)

To All:

It has come to my attention that several employees who shall remain nameless have tickets to early showings of Star Wars: The Force Awakens in the next couple of days. Please note that discussing this movie prior to receiving the “all clear” from management on the property of Starck Van Lines is strictly prohibited and will result in disciplinary action up to and including immediate termination. Any communication, including written, electronic, or verbal, to management of the company, specifically myself, will also be considered a violation of the Star Wars No Disclosure Policy (SWNDP).

May the Force Be With You,

Steve Starck
Jedi Master
Force Awakens

Barca notes that Starck won’t actually give anyone the boot, he just doesn’t want a few chatty folks to ruin the fun for everyone else.

“Everyone is excited. I didn’t want that excitement to end up spoiling the experience for anyone else,” he told Forbes.

One Company’s Workplace Rules For Seeing ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ []

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.