FIFA, the world’s most powerful soccer organization, is embroiled in criminal accusations and charges against a number of senior executives. Longtime FIFA President Sepp Blatter (and owner of a name that bears repeating… Sepp Blatter) recently announced he was stepping down only days after being re-elected. Meanwhile, soccer fans around the world are in the throes of both the FIFA Women’s World Cup and the 2015 Copa América in Chile. In spite of all this in focus on FIFA and football right now, United Passions, the $30 million, FIFA-backed vanity film about the organization’s brilliant leadership has managed to bring in about as much money as a Kevin Federline concert.

The film includes bona fide big-name actors among the cast, including Tim Roth as the actor who got paid to play Blatter, Gerard Depardieu as the French actor who got paid to play former FIFA president Jules Rimet, the decidedly not-Brazilian Sam Neil as the Australian actor who read lines (and presumably got paid) in the guise of Blatter’s predecessor, the definitely Brazilian João Havelange.

Even with all of these actual thespians, none of whom we believe to be bankrupt or in debt so deep that they would need to make this movie, and despite numerous (admittedly derisive) mentions on HBO’s Last Week Tonight, The Hollywood Reporter says that United Passions has raked in a whopping $918 at the box office, making it the worst box office opening ever in the U.S.

Speaking to THR, the film’s director, Frederic Auburtin acknowledges that, “It’s a disaster, but that is not the point, I accepted the job… [But] I was not paid to be the Che Guevara of the sports business. … Please don’t make me the guy responsible for the fact that FIFA is rotten.”

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