Yesterday, we told you about the laughable efforts of one prominent lobbying group to mislead consumers about net neutrality, claiming that it will hurt all those “high school bloggers” who will inexplicably have to pay for Netflix’s bandwidth use (which they won’t, because this is nonsense). For a more accurate representation on what a non-neutral Internet means for consumers, you’d honestly be better served by listening to a trio of porn stars.

In a moderately NSFW (depending on your place of work) clip over at Funny or Die, the three adult actresses — Alex Chance, Mercedes Carrera, and Nadia Styles — explain what it would mean if the FCC passes compromised neutrality rules.

“Without net neutrality, Internet service providers could create special fast lanes for content providers willing to pay more,” says Carrera.

Adds Chance, “That means slow streaming, slow social networking, and yes, slow porn.”

Ms. Styles slam neutrality critic, Sen. Ted Cruz from Texas, saying he “doesn’t want me to get naked for you.”

She also points out that the anti-neutrality drive is being led by wealthy older men and says that doesn’t make any sense since, “Old rich guys watch the weirdest porn.”

Ms. Chance compares the current, neutral state of the Internet to “a giant sex party where everyone gets to have sex with anyone they want,” but Ms. Carrera contends that, “Without net neutrality, that sex party is only for rich people.”

The video then devolves into a three-way love-fest, or at least it would if your broadband connection wasn’t being throttled by Comcast, which wants you to spend money renting pay-per-view porn.

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