Comcast Cruises Past Verizon, Walmart Upsets Bank Of America In Worst Company Quarterfinal Action!

wcia2014headerWorst Company In America Quarterfinal action kicked off this morning with a doozy of a double-header, one resulting in one of the tournament’s most decisive victories and the other going down to the wire in this year’s latest buzzer-beater bout.

With both contenders sporting red and black trunks, we’d worried it might have been difficult to distinguish between the two pugilists. But once Comcast unleashed its trademarked Blast Plus package on poor little Verizon, there was no mistaking who was doing the pummeling and who was the pummelee.

It’s been four years since Comcast last took home the Golden Poo, but like Philly’s own Rocky Balboa training out of the spotlight in snowy Krasnogourbinsk for his fight against Ivan Drago, the Kabletown Krew has only gotten leaner, stronger, and more fierce since its last win. And that hard work showed with today’s 83-17 crushing of Verizon.

Comcast may want to brush up with another training montage, as it still has to go up against the victor of tomorrow’s bout between upstart rookie SeaWorld and WCIA vet Chase.

In each of the last three years, Bank of America cruised to the WCIA Final Death Match, only to lose out each time; first to the oil-spillers at BP and then twice more to nickel-and-diming, customer-hating video game giant EA. With EA eliminated in a Round One upset, it seemed like BofA’s path to the Death Match was clear, and that the bank had to be considered a favorite to contend for the Poo.

But no one counted on Walmart.

The nation’s largest retailer can always be relied upon to compete in our little bit of March insanity, but it rarely makes it beyond the second round. So WCIA oddsmakers (not that we encourage gambling) had unanimously favored BofA to win by at least 10 to 15 points.

But in the third match-up to be decided by around one percentage point (and the first such match to not involve Time Warner Cable), the big bad bank was sent packing by Walmart.

Was the Walmart victory a fluke, or does the mega-tailer have the support it needs to keep going in the tournament? The answer to that question likely depends on whether it faces Monsanto or Time Warner Cable in the Final Four.

Time to print out the bracket and pretend to your friends that you predicted it would turn out this way:

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  1. chrisholland03 says:

    I predict it will come down to Wal-Mart vs Comcast. I’m honestly not sure who I hate worse. They’re both worthy of poo, and I’d be willing to contribute my own to ensure they both get poo’d this year.

    • mongo says:

      You’re probably right but I’d sure like it to come down to Comcast vs. Time Warner for great justice.

      In any case Comcast is getting the poo of gold.

  2. RupturedDuck says:

    I’m finding this year’s WCIA lacking in honest merit and limited availability. I was concerned early on the limited (and unannounced) times are unfair to any voters not along the East Coast and middle of the country. The voting time reflects a geographic bias. My concern, supported by other posters, has gone unanswered. Kinda like the companies Consumerist complains about.

    The other is is this year’s bracket matching. Companies from different industries competing against each other early on in the voting means several eliminated companies that do enormous damage to consumers (long-term) lost to several in-the-moment companies. For example, Seaworld (as bad as they may be) are are one-off, flash-in-the-pan problem child. Yet they knocked out Ticketmaster that has, and will have, a much greater economic and political impact for the long-term. I’m not diminishing Seaworld’s alleged animal abuse. There is no excuse.

    Another is Time-Warner’s advancement. Unfriendly to consumers? Yes. But Koch Industries’ has immense economic and political impact nationwide will affect this country’s entire direction for generations. They deserved to compete against a company with similar deep fingers into political pockets.

    Consumerist what were you thinking with these pairings? Don’t worry, it’s a rhetorical question. Like many of the companies skewered here, your reputation for not responding is being established.

    I’m really disappointed.

    • TRUTH12345 says:

      I agree. This year the results will mean nothing to me. I quit voting on these shortly after it started because I didn’t have the chance to vote on a few of them before the results were in. Now I’m not sure about this east coast bla bla but I’m on the west coast and couldn’t vote on the total sooo…., whatever that means. All and all many people have complained and nothing has been done. Seems to me the companies could sue for unfair voting practices against there names… IDK.

    • StevenB says:

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      [Moderator note: Disemvoweled for cross-posting repeated negative/insulting remarks across multiple threads.]