As a kid, I used to dream of taking a wad of cash — maybe even $100! — and blowing it all on candy. Chocolate, gummies, lollipops, Bit-O-Honey, whathaveyou. But a nine-year-old boy in the Ukraine had far loftier goals in mind. He got his candy-loving hands on his parents’ life savings and blew the whole thing on a sweet spree.

According to the Ukrainian edition of Russia’s Komsomolskaya Pravda daily , via Ria Novosti, the boy swiped close to $4,000 that was hidden under the family sofa.

“The disappearance was first spotted by the father, a shift worker who had just returned home,” said a member of the local police. “He opened the stash and saw that it was empty.”

The family had a bit of a dispute at that point, with the kid finally admitting that yes, he was the thief, and he’d been jonesing for some sugar. His plan involved stealing bits of money from the stash over his fall vacation and converting the euros and such into Ukrainian money with the help of an adult accomplice, and the boy paid him off to keep quiet.

Even after all that sneakiness, the boy found his eyes had been bigger than his stomach, and he shared his ill-gotten loot with his pals. How sweet.

Nine-year-old Steals Parents’ Savings to Buy Candy [Ria Novosti]

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