Given all the permutations possible with the various coffees, flavorings, milks and whatnot at coffee shops like Starbucks, baristas are asked to create all sorts of odd concoctions. But some things just can’t happen.

Over at Reddit (and continued at StarbucksGossip) there’s a discussion thread about impossible drink requests from customers.

The one that kicks the thread off is probably the most worthy of a head-scratch:

I once had a woman order an iced drink, but wanted the ice not to float to the top. NOOOPE. Best part about this was my (former) SM was there and looked at me with this expectant look on her face, nodding like “Sure… you’re smart, you can do that, right? Just say yes!”

Another person who lacks basic knowledge of how/why things float:

Some woman wanted a white mocha with whipped cream on the top and the bottom of her drink. Really? I’ll put it on the bottom but it sure as hell is not going to stay there.

Then there’s the customer who thinks the roasting oven is for heating up her oatmeal:

I had a woman ask me to heat up her oatmeal. She always makes a point of telling me not to put too much water in it, so I added less that I usually do. A few minutes later she came back up to my register and told me to heat it up because it wasn’t hot. I noticed the level of the liquid was higher than when I handed it to her, so she added cold half and half at the bar, making it lukewarm. I told her I could add more hot water but she didn’t want that. She wanted me to microwave it. I told her we don’t have a microwave so I couldn’t do that. She pointed to the oven and asked what it was. When I told her and explained I couldn’t put her oats in the oven, she looked at me like I was the idiot in the situation and walked away.

And some people just don’t understand the words they are saying, like this one:

My former ASM told us about a customer who asked for a drink with “an extra pump of venti.” She could not get her to understand that that was nonsensical.

Or this gem:

Some guy came in one time and said “I’ll take an Iced Americano no espresso”. Thinking he misspoke I said “no water?”. He said “I said NO ESPRESSO”. I replied “sir that’s just a cup of ice water”. Well as you all know “the other stores” do it all the time. I said do you mean decaf? He just stormed out. I still don’t know what he wanted.

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